Illumination

Critical Reading Anti-GMO Literature

2012-01-26T15:25:00.008-05:00

The recent news from the anti-science world features new found attacks on transgenic crops. I've been reading the literature again, including some new reviews. As usual, no evidence of harm.

Except when you read the anti-GMO literature. Here is a web-based paper that passes itself off as a scientific synthesis of the literature on GMO research. It paints a very clear view of the horrendous technology (that almost all of us eat daily without consequence). It is compelling, scary, and persuasive.

It is a lot easier (and a lot more fun) to scare people
to death than to educate them. The anti-GMO interests
have perfected anti-science terrorism

I started to do a little deeper digging than the average franken-nut might want to do. I didn't have to look far to see that the report featured above says one thing, when the literature they cite says another.

THEY ARE LYING. These are folks with an agenda, and they bend the truth for their own cause. Deplorable.

Let's look at an example. From the report GMO's- Just the Science

"Rats fed GM insecticide-producing maize over three generations suffered damage to liver and kidneys and showed alterations in blood biochemistry"

This is referenced to Kilic and Akay's 2008 article in Food and Chemical Toxicology (46, 1164–1170). If you take the time to actually read the article it says right in the abstract:

"No statistically significant differences were found in relative organ weights of rats within groups but there were some minimal histopathological changes in liver and kidney."

and they wrap it up with, "In conclusion, although the results obtained from this study showed minor histopathological and biochemical effects in rats fed with Bt corn, long-term consumption of transgenic Bt corn throughout three generation did not cause severe health concerns on rats."

The minor differences that were documented in cell metrics and enzyme levels were seen in populations with a very small number of subjects (n=5 to 14). Natural variation from genetic or environmental sources could easily perturb these results, so the fact that most metrics measured were almost identical, or within statistical similarity, is pretty amazing.

This is just one example. Here is a paper, published in a lowish-impact journal (2.6), based on an extremely small data set that shows some small differences. The authors say that there is no significant difference.

However, the anti-GMO report (that claims to be all about the science) says liver and kidney damage. If you Google the authors' names and year of the paper, you'll find hundreds of websites that hold this report up as evidence of transgenic food dangers.

The anti-science, anti-progress, anti-GMO contingent is easily manipulated and unsophisticated in their critical evaluation of scholarly research.

Natural News Lies; Then Points a Finger at Big Ag

2012-01-24T13:45:00.005-05:00

Today’s Natural News article fans the flames of the anti-GMO crowd. It is another fine piece of work by the anti-scientist, Ethan Huff, the same person that brought you the distortion of the breastfeeding and vaccination story. For those that do not read this blog often, there is a substantial section of humanity that believes that transgenic technology (GMO, GM, GE, Frankenfood, etc) is dangerous. They indict the companies that generate the plant materials and target scientists that don’t support their bogus claims. They find fringe journals and self-proclaimed experts to substantiate their positions. Ultimately the problem is that they spend a lot of time attacking a safe, proven and ubiquitous technology that presents no independently reproducible evidence of harm.

Another anti-science travesty by the self-proclaimed experts

at Natural News

Natural News is a central purveyor of their disinformation. Articles are written by non-scientists, cherry picking either legitimate science or company websites in an attempt to distort truths to garner sensationalized readership. The articles are inflammatory and are not based on real science. Of course, the articles nestle aside a rich slate of advertisements, many for items that perpetuate the naturalist fallacy. Ironically, they attack sound science and promote unvetted claims. There, we needed some backstory.

Today’s Natural News starts with the title “There is no need for, or value in testing the safety of GM foods in humans”. Of course, this is a complete lie and inconsistent with the current regulatory environment. In fact, Monsanto and their ilk like to keep regulatory hurdles high to keep out public scientists and small business, but I digress. The first line of the article says:

NN: (NaturalNews) There is a growing body of scientific evidence which proves that genetically-modified organisms (GMOs) are inherently different from natural organisms, including the way the body processes them, as well as how the immune system responds to them.

Note that this claim has no citations, and a quick review of the literature does not back these claims.

NN: But Monsanto, the largest purveyor of GMOs in the world, believes that GMOs are no different than natural organisms, and that GMO testing is both needless and valueless.

It is not just Monsanto. It is just about every scientist that understands genes and genomics. Genomes are dynamic. Genes and large stretches of DNA move about the genome with regularity. Modern plant lines, even the most wholesome of the organic favorites, result from breeding plants against other plants, oftentimes mixing tens of thousands of genes, transposons, and other regulatory molecules in ways that can never be predicted.

In short, adding a gene, or a few genes via the lab is trivial compared to what happens in breeding or in the course of natural plant growth. Transgenic plants are essentially equivalent to non-trangenics.

NN: In the Why aren't you running human clinical trials on GM crops? section of Monsanto's Food Safety page, the biotechnology giant explains its opinion that GMOs are "substantially equivalent" to natural organisms. According to Monsanto, since concentrations of proteins, carbohydrates, and other nutrient factors vary among natural crops, as well as among natural and GM crops, then these differences are automatically unimportant in light of GMO safety.

And Monsanto’s position is supported by science. Transgenic crops are considered equivalent to those produced through traditional breeding by many international organizations with no ties to Monsanto or US agriculture.

The article also fails to point out that Monsanto absolutely does see a need to test the safety of the protein that is being introduced. These studies are performed and carefully regulated.

NN: Furthermore, Monsanto claims that its injection of foreign DNA into its GM crops is also automatically safe because, get this, DNA is present in natural crops as well. Never mind that the injected DNA is foreign and unnatural, and is used to alter the entire genetic structure of GM crops -- according to Monsanto, its unnatural DNA is automatically non-toxic because every other plant also has DNA. Case closed.

Here the ignorance of the author shines. DNA is not “injected” into GM crops. It is installed using a well-vetted process that has been in existence for decades. DNA is DNA, and there is no reason that added plant DNA (or even bacterial sequences) would be any more harmful to ingest than the DNA in the plant already. Just about all the sequences used in genetic engineering are natural. They originate in plants, bacteria and plant viruses and are used because they are well understood and work well. Evolution engineered some good stuff for us to use. Case closed.

NN: Using this same absurd illogic, injecting foreign animal DNA into a developing human baby, for instance, must also be safe because that baby contains DNA, right?

(Head hits desk)

The author has now taken an absurd position to frighten readers. And yes, you could inject DNA into a baby and it would be safe. Not because the baby contains DNA, but because the body knows how to make and metabolize DNA. Does it all the time.

NN: Or how about drinking antifreeze, which is made of atoms, because your body is also made of atoms?

(Head hits desk again)

Antifreeze is made of ethylene glycol, which contains carbon, oxygen and hydrogen. These are the same three central compounds (along with nitrogen) that make up plants, even the organically grown ones. By the authors argument, since DNA is dangerous if from another source, what about the elements in the plants? How can foreign DNA be a threat, yet foreign carbon, oxygen and hydrogen be safe?

NN: Based on Monsanto's pseudoscientific nonsense, everything can be considered non-toxic and safe because it is all made of atoms, just like our bodies!

The author has a lot of cojones throwing around the term "pseudoscientific", when none of his own claims are based in science. Furthermore, Monsanto (or any scientist) will tell you that nothing ever can be considered completely safe. Nothing. All we can ever say is that there is no evidence of harm. That leaves the door open for someone to demonstrate dangers. That’s the way science works.

And GMO crops rise to that standard of safety. Despite the fact that just about everyone has been eating transgenic crops for a decade, there is no reproducible evidence of harm. I can’t go ten minutes in front of a television without seeing a lawyer group suing a drug maker because of a rare side effect of an otherwise beneficial drug. If there was any evidence that transgenic crops were harmful they’d be all over that too.

The sad part is the comment section. Here well-meaning people chime in with non-scientific vitriol against Monsanto and science. It shows the magnitude of the problem. Natural News can make up information, bend the truth, spin a story and perpetuate lies. They can say what they want without evidence and the readership lacks the sophistication to identify legitimate science to substantiate or refute the claims. They just fall in line.

Don’t believe me, read the scientific literature. Transgenic crops have a tremendous safety record and present no reproducible evidence of harm. Natural News, the people and the products therein, rely on misinformation and lies to stay in business. They have a lot of nerve pointing a finger at Monsanto.

Shame on You Paula Deen

2012-01-20T10:52:00.012-05:00

When most people heard that Paula Deen has developed Type II diabetes, it was filed promptly in the “No Shit Sherlock” file. Personally, I figured she’d have The Grabber long before she lived long enough to develop adult-onset diabetes. She’s been diabetic for three years and only now is announcing the disorder publicly.

The news had special implications for me. I’ll get to that later.

Ms. Deen is recognized as a Suthern (sic)-Style cook. Every recipe starts with a stick of butter and all of her concoctions are proudly laden with fat, sugar and salt. Her signature dish is a hamburger with a fried egg and bacon, using a glazed doughnut as a bun. Just about everything is fried, including a stick of butter or a piece of cheesecake.

Worse, she emits a bravado that thumbs its nose at health-conscious eating. She has a persuasive swagger that reinforces the deleterious food habits that drive the obesity epidemic in our country, especially in the 'Merican South where diabetes and obesity threaten the sustainability of state health systems, and butt-block my shortcut through the shit food aisle at Wal-Mart.

Her show should come with a warning label. If the materials and techniques

are used precisely as directed, they result in debilitation, disease and death.

And there is no clearer example than the development of her own disease spectrum. Keep in mind that she is a wealthy television personality with access to the highest quality of medical care that most consumers of her fare will never have.

But the worst is yet to come. She has known of her disorder, borne from the habits she preaches, for three years. For three years her attending physicians have likely steered her away from the poisons that she is promoting. Yet she continues to fill that feed bag and strap it onto the heads of the unknowing viewer with gusto.

Three years later, Deen admits to the disease. At the same time she also admits that she is the new spokesperson for Victoza, a non-insulin injection that can help control the disease. Victoza sales are over a billion dollars so far. She will be profiting off of the disease that she contributes to. That's like RJ Reynolds selling you the newest and best emphysema puffer! Does anyone else see a severe ethical dilemma here?

Deen should be using her platform to illustrate how diet directly contributes to human health, and show how she can control or reverse her disease with healthy lifestyle choices. Instead, now she can profit on both ends. Her loyal viewers can still keep eating a stick of butter an a cup of sugar a day because there is a drug that they can buy to help control the effects of eating a stick of butter and a cup of sugar a day-- and she'll be happy to sell it to them.

Why is this story personal? My mother died one year ago this week from heart disease and complications from diabetes. She loved watching Paula Deen and extolled much of the same attitude toward food.

Paula Deen was influential. My mom never made her recipes that I know of, but Paula Deen absolutely reinforced my mother’s bad habits. Paula Deen validated the deleterious attitude toward food and tendency to shun healthy eating.

In the two years before my mother died I was at her home and commented on Deen's bad choices while my mom watched her on television. It fell on deaf ears. I would sit and watch a Deen (a sick person) on television promote and profit from practices that lead to and exacerbate the diabetic condition, all the while living with undisclosed diabetes.

Unfortunately the same practices that make Paula Deen rich, fertilized an attitude that made it possible for my mother to not be here now. Mom never even got to buy the new medicine that could have maybe counteracted the ravages of diabetes brought on my Deen-endorsed lifestyle choices.

Instead of apologizing and acting as an agent of change, Ms. Deen will continue the practices that threaten her life and the health of a nation-- simultaneously profiting from the problem she creates and a solution she promotes.

Today I said on the phone...

2012-01-09T22:36:00.002-05:00

Don't tell me that it can't be done. Tell me how you are going to help me do it.

The War on Sugar (Part I)

2012-01-03T12:02:00.003-05:00

I was reading Oxygen, a women’s fitness magazine. It was sitting there, the exercise information generally translates to men, and the pictures are easy on the eyes.

Unfortunately it is packed full of bad information. One article reminds me of the War on Sugar.

There is no doubt that an abundance of simple carbohydrate calories contributes to the increasing American girth, as well as amplification of maladies like type II diabetes. In analysis of the phenomenon it has been popular to demonize carbohydrates themselves, especially in the popular press. But how bad is sugar in its basic form?

Simply put, sugar (essentially biologically available simple carbohydrates like sucrose, fructose and glucose) is the basis of where your energy comes from. The main metabolic pathways that fuel life itself begin with a sugar molecule. Sugars are made by plants and are loaded into fruits. Sugars are so important that the human body will sacrifice other biomolecules to make them, a process called gluconeogenesis.

Sugars are so important, but throughout human history were not often encountered, especially in the familiar form. Outside of the last 50-100 years in the industrialized world, and even today in the developing world, sugar is a rare commodity. Before transcontinental transportation sugar was usually only found as a sweet treat inside of seasonal fruits and vegetables as well as the milk sugars in dairy products.

When we consider necessity against availability it is no question that we find it so attractive to the palate. The high-energy goodness of sugar was something that once found, had to be consumed in quantity. The human brain evolved to recognize sugar (along with fat) as outstanding sources of satiety, delivering huge caloric gains to sustain intensity in hunting, gathering, survival, and reproduction. The desire to consume simple carbohydrates was likely a highly selected trait, yet one that works against us in the modern age.

Over the next few days I’ll discuss sugar and sugar alternatives. Where do they come from? What are they? How do they work and how are they metabolized? Is there evidence of harm? What the hell is high-fructose corn syrup? What is the Miracle Berry and how does it work?

This is information we all need to know, but nobody really does. The popular press never gets this right. The article in Oxygen quotes a registered dietician that is off her rocker and blinded by the naturalist fallacy. She makes scientifically bankrupt claims and extolls the benefits of “clean natural sweetners” that are widely now in use. Funny, there are no long-term data to illustrate their safety, which is what the “all natural” types demand from other technologies.

These topics will be the subjects covered in January.

Automatic Tolls- Here Come Speeding Fines!

2012-01-02T18:11:00.000-05:00

Okay, call me paranoid, but I suspect you'll see a new tool in law enforcement. Your tollway automatic transponder.

I spent the last few days driving around northern Illinois, a place where it costs big bucks to drive on taxpayer funded roads. To mitigate costs, you can buy an "I-Pass" a transponder on the dashboard that automatically debits a credit card as you move along the roads. Such things also exist on the Florida Turnpike, so this is not a local phenomenon.

With automatic tolls they know where the tollbooths are and how long it should take to move between them at the legal speed limit. It would be simple for the State to use these data to interpolate a rate of travel between the two points.

For instance, if you moved between two tollbooths that are 20 miles apart at the legal limit of 60 mph, it should take 20 minutes. If you were recorded moving between the two in 15 minutes then you must have been exceeding 80 mph for all or at least part of that distance, allowing a precise way to clock your speed.

In a state with no money and people taxed to death already, they are looking for anything they can do to squeeze more revenue out of the population. Watch for this one on a highway near you.

20/20

2012-01-02T17:58:00.000-05:00

I like when I fall asleep with my glasses on and wake up thinking that I've been touched with the miracle of perfect vision.

You've Got Mail, Sort Of

2011-12-29T20:55:00.001-05:00

Yesterday I was walking down the street in Chicago. It was a cold mid-afternoon and I was the only person out and about except for a guy walking across the street to my left. From the corner of my eye I could see the monochromatic grey-blue figure catch up to me and walk past, revealing a heavy bag full of mail. He was a USPS postal carrier.

And why is the USPS going broke?

Here's a guy walking door-to-door in a major city-- rain, snow, sleet and hail, except when the weather sucks. He's delivering a series of paper packets originating from far away to where he was going. Each letter is being custom moved for less than half a buck. This is freakin' Amish!

I'm feverishly doing the math in my head and it seems like the system is bound to fail. The costs of fuel to move it, the machines and people to sort and handle that letter, and the costs of that one guy's pay to do a tough physical job, pay for his health insurance and pension. It seems like it can't work.

And New Math reveals it doesn't. The USPS is 9.2 Billion in the hole here at the end of 2011. That's equivalent to the GDP of Mongolia or the Bahamas.

Worse yet, I'd guess about 80% of what I get via the mail I don't want anyway. Even those Victoria Secret catalogs that somehow ended up coming to me are pretty boring after the first 700. Every mail room and lobby has a special garbage can just for junk mail.

Could we maybe just ditch the whole system and go electronic? I seem to get email everyday without a problem and can filter the junk, no problem. I can respond quickly and have a solid record of the correspondence. Sweet!

Could we build a nationwide 3G network that would provide everyone email access? A simple email reader could be provided to each person for a nominal fee, and maybe a few cents could be charged per email sent via that network.

This way we'd save a fortune in paper, subsidies to paper and timber companies, a ton in the costs of physically moving a document from point A to point B.

The small charge would deter wasteful usage and massive mailings.

It just seems like in the age of data and information, we can do it much better.

Science Denial in Political Candidates;The Importance of a Simple but Telling Question

2011-12-28T09:46:00.004-05:00

Back in 2008 Republican presidential hopefuls gathered in an on-stage “debate”. By debate I mean they did what all politicians do regardless of political party- they used the occasion to bend questions to fit their answers and stroke the expectations of smiling partisans counting down to that primary election.

The event was typical and boring. Stock answers to non-issues and sidestepping issues that truly matter in our country.

But one web-submitted question resonated especially well with me and it should be a mandated question in all political debates from here on out…. “This is a yes-no question… Do you believe in evolution?”

The question should have been, “Do you accept the evidence for evolution,” because we don’t have to believe something when it has been substantiated with overwhelming evidence, but these are politicians, not scientists, so we’ll let it slide.

The question was posed to Senator John McCain, who enthusiastically said, “Yes.”

When asked to the rest of the stage with a show-of-hands, hands were slow to raise, and candidates looked back and forth at each other, thinking quickly of how their answer could be politically expedient.

Gov. Mike Huckabee was the first hand up, followed by Sen. Sam Brownback and Rep. Tom Tancredo.

This was a telling moment. Here were three candidates willing to ignore evidence and brandish their ignorance in a show to placate a political base. To me, grounds for immediate disqualification.

This year during the “debates” some pundit mentioned that such questions were useless in vetting a presidential candidate. I could not disagree more. This is absolutely the best question to ask anyone seeking the highest office in the land, an office where they literally have their finger on the power to annihilate the planet. They also have to make many policy decisions that could benefit from objective scientific validation, and to turn a blind eye to science for political gains is detrimental to us all.

To deny that evolution happened over the last 3.6 billion years (and still happens and is ongoing) means that you have to be willing to ignore evidence. Worse, you have to be willing to ignore evidence and accept what someone believes in the absence of evidence, but on the basis of faith.

So when an important decision needs to be made (like invade Iraq to take out Saddam Hussein in retribution for 9-11) who do we want to make that decision? Do we want someone in power that will carefully consider and weigh all points of view, options, and evidence, and then make a decision based on the facts, or do we want someone that will default to the voice in his head, the voice he hears in prayers, the voices of his supporters, the voices of big business, the voices of his party, and/or the voices of contributors?

Evolution is the basis of speciation and natural selection is the mechanism by which it happens. That is not a subject of debate among the world’s scientists. Fewer theories have more support from diverse scientists and avenues of inquiry. To refuse to accept this evidence to placate the ignorant shows that a politician is either lying or stupid.

Anyone not accepting evolution as an established and supported theory that explains the diversity of life on earth should be immediately disqualified from holding the office of President of the USA. The next decade will require hard decisions to be made on economic policy, energy policy, foreign policy, and many other areas. We need leaders that are connected to science and quality information, that can make good decisions when provided with information, and accept reality over influences.

They could instead run for King of a planet that is flat, cooling and in the middle of the universe.

Dog Time Travel

2011-12-26T16:38:00.004-05:00

My dogs were in an elevator for the first time. It must seem like magic to them. The wall opens, they walk into a tiny room, wait a few seconds, and then the wall opens and they are in a completely different place.

A Prediction for 2012

2011-12-25T10:21:00.000-05:00

The "angels" paying off Christmas layaway accounts are just Mayans with high credit card limits.

2011-12-23T22:18:00.000-05:00

I will sleep well tonight knowing that if I ever have a worn or weathered hot dog, I can get it restored to its original luster for under a buck.

Hit and Run?

2011-12-20T16:52:00.000-05:00

Why do they call it a "hit and run" when you hit and drive away?

A Life as a Spectator

2011-12-16T17:00:00.002-05:00

Someone very close to me posted the following on her facebook page, receiving lots of "likes" and favorable comments from friends and readers. It is called, "Wings of the Soul".

It sure does feel good to put stock in such mantras, especially because they help you not think. Rubbish like this reflects why some are always watching life pass by, and are generally discontent with their situation. Yet they subscribe to this kind of lazy thinking.

It is not how I live at all. To me, I would change this to nothing makes sense until you solve it, master the confusion instead of laughing at it, claim back the basis of the tears, and remind yourself that YOU control whether things happen or don't. A lot of people like to coast on "wings of your soul", but I think proactive action and reason are much better remedies than wishful thinking.

More Anti-GMO Anti Science

2011-12-10T06:45:00.002-05:00

I write this blog to try to add a sobering scientific overlay to topics of frequent discussion. Most attacks on science and scientists are shrugged off because good science always wins. However, by gently addressing dissenting opinions against science, maybe we can accelerate the process.

Today on Facebook I read a post from a friend about the horrors of GM foods. The post was in regard to the fact that Whole Foods Markets and other retailers have dropped hard opposition to the USDA's decision to deregulate transgenic alfalfa. The links provided directed me to an online article by Ronnie Cummings regarding this situation.

The organic foods community is not happy with Whole Foods and their ilk because they have stated that there needs to be coexistence with biotech crops. My guess is that they see that they are losing important credibility. If you are trying to make the claim that your foods are healthier and more sustainable (which they may or may not be), your claims are vacant if you fail to accept science in other issues. It is like the trainer that tells you that you need to exercise daily for fitness, but smoking is good for you too.

Of course, the anti-science madness of the anti-GM folks tears Whole Foods a new one. Cummings article is quite the rant. The second paragraph is quite telling and ironically fun. The first sentence starts out with, "In a cleverly worded, but profoundly misleading email sent to its customers last week" and then goes on to use clever words to profoundly mislead. Let's look at a few examples.

Beyond the regulatory euphemism of "conditional deregulation," this means that WFM and their colleagues are willing to go along with the massive planting of a chemical and energy-intensive GE perennial crop, alfalfa;

Ok, first point. The GE alfalfa is no more chemical and/or energy intensive than the conventional crop. Many independent studies from all over the world show that transgenic crops lead to profoundly less use of insecticides and herbicides (see Tomorrow's Table, Pam Ronald for good citations and clear explanation). We continue,

guaranteed to spread its mutant genes and seeds across the nation;

That's quite a guarantee! First of all, these are not mutants. Mutation provides the basis of all of the genetic variation we see and benefit from. Even those organic crops are loaded with mutations, they have to be. Furthermore, they are the products of human intervention in the breeding process, where man has deliberately crossed plants to capitalize on those mutations.

guaranteed to contaminate the alfalfa fed to organic animals

So? Is there any evidence that this is harmful? Nope.

guaranteed to lead to massive poisoning of farm workers

Again, quite a guarantee. And study after study reflect the low toxicity of glyphosate, especially compared to other conventional herbicides. PubMed that one on your own.

and destruction of the essential soil food web ...

and it continues. Cummings also states:

In exchange for a new assault on farmworkers and rural communities (a recent large-scale Swedish study found that spraying Roundup doubles farm workers' and rural residents' risk of getting cancer)

I wasted 30 minutes of my life that I will never get back trying to find this recent Swedish study. I wish these folks would cite their references better. All I found was one report from 1999 from Hardell and Erikson in the journal Cancer that showed a correlation between glyphosate and non-Hodgkins Lymphoma. That study was the last of the kind, and no follow-ups were presented. Twelve years later the stuff seems to be getting safer?

Could the anti-science types be distorting facts? Yep. I guess one lone 1999 study is "recent" in geological time.

One of the other ways you know that the anti-GMO interests are scientifically bankrupt and simply parroting a party line comes if you google large chunks of their rhetoric. Try this one from Cummings' article...

Roundup devastates essential soil microorganisms that provide plant nutrition and sequester climate-destabilizing greenhouse gases

How many hits? 1400. 1400 verbatim cut-and-pastes from one thoughtless anti-GMO rant to the next. Seems like this is a lifted phrase that pops up again and again as one lemming plagiarizes the previous one. It also was in the Facebook post. Where does it come from?

Most of the anti-GMO pieces citing this alleged factoid say it was a "recent study". So, once again I go to PubMed and put in "glyphosate" and "climate". I tried "Roundup" and "climate". I could not find a single report, even in obscure low-impact journals, that presented any data regarding this claim.

Could the anti-GMO folks be lying again? Maybe. I certainly may have missed something here, but I don't think so.

The most clear problem with the anti-GMO argument is that they want to have it both ways, and Cummings' work is a perfect example. Here he expounds gloriously on the hazards of transgenic crops and their attendant herbicides. He tells how dangerous they are, how "recent" studies clearly demonstrate their dangers. He also "guarantees' they will "contaminate" everything, based on his knowledge of corn, soy and cotton that are almost 100% transgenic in acreage.

If this stuff is so dangerous and deadly, and if it is everywhere, why doesn't everyone drop dead from it?

Exactly.

If anything, the calories afforded because of transgenic breakthroughs and higher production are leading to obesity and other issues associated with over-nutrition. I think the evidence says that it works too well as intended.

The bottom line. The rhetoric of the anti-GMO contingent is anti-intellectual and anti-scientific at best, and boldface lies at the worst. We don't know if the authors are uninformed, poor critical thinkers, or really solid geniuses with an agenda that want to distort information for their cause. I like to think that it is the former, which is why I try to educate and comment in this arena.

Natural News- Distorting Facts to Profit from the Naturalist Fallacy

2011-12-07T13:36:00.002-05:00

This morning I’m parsing Facebook and find a post from a friend. His post exclaims, “Institute of medicine safety report confirms vaccine dangers http://t.co/N5zWiFsw via @HealthRanger”. I was intrigued.

HealthRanger is a pseudonym for one of the authors over at Natural News, a website that promotes allegedly healthy and natural products. They do not just promote concoctions, supplements, complementary and alternative medicine that are scientifically unvetted, they go out of their way to bash science, technology and western medicine.

The former is no big deal. While unethical, I’m glad that we are free to be suckered into nostrums and bogus concoctions that have alleged pharmacological properties, even in the absence of evidence. The harm comes in when people forego legitimate science in pursuit of alternative practices and suffer from the consequences. Most of these treatments don’t work (and can’t work, e.g. homeopathy) or they have biologically active compounds (like herbs and plant extracts) that can elicit some effects, yet are not pure, well quantified, or tested for side effects.

It must be good stuff, it's natural. So are dog turds, the AIDS virus, radon gas and arsenic.

Where I do have a serious problem is when Natural News attacks science. In the note above, my friend writes that the Institute of Medicine (a solid source of good information that has always touted vaccine safety and efficacy) “confirms vaccine dangers”. When you read the Natural News article, they use the same distortion in their title. They also quote the report where it states, “relationship between certain vaccines and adverse health complications does exist”, cherry picking this nugget from the rest of the story. Natural News also states that this "settles the argument". They did get that last point right, but it settles it in a way that does not support their claims of danger.

You can read a synopsis of the findings here.

The rest of the IOM report really echoes the incredible safety of vaccines and their awesome place in public health security. In the true spirit of scientific discourse the report says that there are documented negative side effects of vaccination, and science has known this for some time. These negative side effects are generally mild and are exceedingly rare. When you read the list, they are typically confined to anaphylaxsis, except for rare instances of viral re-activation from Varicella (chicken pox) vaccine where the patient then gets the chicken pox they would have caught without the vaccine.

Negative side effects, yes. Less severe than the disease itself, absolutely.

The report also supports rejection of the association between vaccines and diabetes, autism, Bell’s palsy, or asthma, the “risks” frequently touted by anti-vaxers. Of course, Natural News seemed to miss this.

The take home message is that HealthRanger and Natural News are at best just poor connoisseurs of scientific information, lousy readers and non-critical thinkers. At the worst they are cherry-picking liars that distort legitimate data to promote a naturalist concept, where they are the profiteers.

And they say that Big Ag, Big Pharma, Big Science are all lying about their products to make a buck. Take a look in the mirror Natural News.

Even the untrained eye can see through this veil of deception. All you have to do is read the report. Once again, Natural News finds end-of-the-world danger where the objective, peer-reviewed, reproducible and accountable scientific community finds minimal risk.

Sierra Club, Suing Universities, Questioning Researchers

2011-10-31T23:06:00.004-04:00

Just my two cents as a public scientist, environmental steward and citizen. Purely opinion and has nothing to do with my job at UF. People are sue-happy, so I need to be clear where this all comes from...

It was sad news to hear that the Sierra Club was suing University of Florida. I always admired the Sierra Club. As far as environmental protection organizations go, they seemed to always be on track. They didn't share radical ideas and tactics utilized by others. They seemed to make decisions based on science and facts.

Now they have fallen into line behind those that attack scientists that find information that is contrary to their beliefs. Add Sierra Club to the line of anti-vaccine, anti-climate change, anti-evolution, anti-moon landing kooks.

University of Florida researchers published a paper that illustrates a critical problem. It shows that human contribution to water pollution from nitrogen, phosphorus, sewage nutrients, septic tanks, and other agents causes issues with eutrophication. The report is a review of the literature that concludes that it is more important to adopt "best management practices" rather than ordinances to limit when fertilizer may be applied. The ordinances adopted by many municipalities regulate fertilizing to specific times of the year. Research shows that increased fertilizer use during these windows compensates for the cut backs. The whole story of the lawsuit was reported here.

Sierra Club is suing because they want all email communications from the scientists, all information about review of the manuscript, and other documents that UF does not feel privy to reveal. Some see this as a violation of transparency and our state's Sunshine Laws. However, I completely understand the resistance. Why?

1. While university emails are part of public record, we all are too busy to write in complete thoughts or have the time to have someone proofread our correspondence for alternative interpretations. Even if completely innocent, an aggressive entity will try to find something, and chances are they will. Look at the probing the scientists in East Anglia found from review of their emails! It all turned out to be nothing, but it was costly to produce and defend.

2. Review details of scientific manuscripts is not public information. Peer review must remain anonymous in order to maintain its integrity, unless reviewers and editors care to reveal the information. It is why fraud, cronyism and nepotism penetrate science less. We are our own best police and enforcement.

3. The place to debate science is in the peer-reviewed literature. If this group's findings are really controversial and off base, then a separate group will be compelled to perform tests based on the first report's conclusions. It is hypothesis driven. If the data support the original interpretations, then done deal. If the new data do not support the conclusions of the report, then that's good too. The disparity will fuel new investigations. Science will grow.

Sierra Club should contract a similar study. A grad student doesn't cost that much, certainly less than a lawsuit. Plus, they would get a fair and unbiased, hypothesis driven answer that would likely match the original research's interpretations. Plus, they would train a student in an important area of science at the public-environment interface. Maybe the data would come out differently, and at that point we could ask why the studies came up with different conclusions. There would likely be a scientific reason for that too that would help us design better experiments and use better tools to address this important environmental issue for Florida.

Sierra Club's allegations of under-the-table payments from fertilizer companies are scary. It is bad precedent. It means that anytime something oozes out of the test tube that does not fit someone's agenda, a scientist could be sued. That is a way to kill real, objective research, as well as a cash-strapped university system.

Sierra Club follows the lead of the anti-climate change goofballs that subpoena scientists' findings they don't like. They set the table for limiting risky research or for publishing findings that could ruffle feathers or cause us to rethink public policy. Very, very, dangerous.

It is especially sad because I would guess that university science is behind, or supports, many of Sierra Club's champion causes. This issue has received little fanfare outside of UF, but inside it is quite a buzz. All researchers are watching to see how an organization deemed as friendly now joins the ranks of attacking the science, and scientists, that they don't believe. It is not about what Sierra Club or scientists believe. It is what we know.

And it is always is subject to change, but it does it through the scientific method, not a courtroom.

A Caffeine-Based Teachable Moment

2011-10-29T17:00:00.003-04:00

We have had Alexandria living with us for a year. She's 13 now, lots of fun, and I'm enjoying helping to raise her. I also like having a coffee partner.

Some time ago in this forum I complained about our crappy coffee pot and how I can only make a few thimbles of coffee at a time. Today it turned into a good lesson, maybe the best one I can teach.

Whenever I'm making coffee I always ask Alex if she's like some. I have to be cognizant of how much I take to make sure that there is enough to share. It is not like I can't make more, but I have to be careful of how I personally tap our micro-pot.

Today I asked her if she'd like some and offered to pour her a cup, but she likes to overdose on the creamer, so she elected to make her own. She got down the big coffee cup and made her morning joe.

When I go to make mine I was able to coax a scant dribble of liquid out of the pot. I got distracted and went to do something else.

When I returned, her cup sat on the table, cold and 3/4 full. It was time for a discussion.

I told her that she needs to be more aware of the world around her, and sensitive to the needs of others. She needs to inquire with others if they need anything, if they would like to share, if there is anything she can offer to them. I think this is really important.

It is especially bad because she took it, and didn't drink it. There are drowsy kids in other countries that would appreciate that cup of coffee. Not only did she take it all, she wasted it, and that's exactly the opposite of how I want her to turn out.

It is not how she was raised. One time she was visiting her sister's house and at all of her sister's popsicles, all of them. It is almost like she didn't want her sister to have them. This is how it worked in that house I guess. I saw this all the time. If one kid could take from the others, hurt the others or advance their situation by throwing the other under the bus, then that's how it went. This is partially why she is here with us.

The best lesson she can ever receive is to understand that she lives in a world surrounded by other people. She should never worry about how much she didn't get, but should worry if others have enough.

If she takes my advice she'll definitely be a weirdo.

And we had three pieces of bread and two heels today and we both wanted a sandwich. I gave her two good pieces and I ate the crusty end piece. I'm teaching by example.

"Friend" Request Never Answered

2011-10-14T23:24:00.005-04:00

Back in 1980 I was harassed by the police for standing up for my friend Henry Pascual. Henry was my friend and had a heart of gold. He lived two sides to the same tortured life. In school he was funny, happy and involved. He was the Treasurer of our 8th grade student council and a popular kid at school. On the other hand his biological father remarried to a horrible new wife that hurt him and minimized him in the new family structure. It was no secret. Everyone at school knew of the physical and mental abuse he endured. Heck, it was the 70's, and you could still abort your kids well into their teens without repercussions.

Turns out out that some kids vandalized his father's home, and when police asked questions I told them that his family/step mother deserved it. I told the police that they were horrible people that hurt their son. While other kids shut up and some even ran, I stepped up and told the cops that I was glad that someone stood up to those awful people. I didn't do the vandalism (I have no idea who did) but I was glad someone did. I did nothing, but I was treated like a criminal by the Downers Grove police detective.

That's Sean Rowbottom, Michael Taylor, me (back row),

Henry Pascual, Christa Ojeda and some other goofball (front row),

outside of O'Neill Jr. High in 1979.

The police took me home to my mom and dad, questioned me and broke me down. They wanted me to admit to something I didn't do because I had motive. Henry's dad and stepmom put him through hell. They kicked him out of the house and sent him into foster care. I stood up for him and those that acted on his behalf, even if illegal. It was the right thing to do. With what I know today I feel sad that they didn't wipe the place and its inhabitants from the face of the earth. Even though I didn't do the vandalism, I'd like to high-five those that did. At least I had the gumption to say that, even back then.

Henry was placed into foster care. I used to ride my bike with Michael Taylor 15 miles to visit him with a foster family in Villa Park IL. He lived with nice people, sweet people, but it didn't seem right.. They saw Henry through high school, and as time went on in a period before email and quick contact, we spoke to Henry less and less.

With the phenomenon of Facebook we could build old connections. I found him in Spain, where he appeared to be doing well. Here is the note I sent to him earlier this year...

Dear Henry,

Now I realize the value of Facebook- connect me with Henry Pascual and all is well. You popped up on my screen as a recommended contact. Nice.

I hope everything is going well for you Henry. I think the last time I saw you was when Taylor and I rode up to see you somewhere in Villa Park IL. You were always incredible, especially with the circumstances you had to endure.

I know you are doing wonderful things and if you get around to it drop me a line and let me know what you are up to.

Sincerely,

Kevin Folta

Sadly, he never wrote back. My "friend" request went unanswered on Facebook, and it always bothered me. Was he hiding from the past?

He never wrote back because he killed himself earlier this year. Yes I blame his father and stepmother. They were horrible people.

Dear Henry, I wish I would have reached out sooner. I probably couldn't have changed your mind, but it would have been nice to say goodbye to a dear friend. You waged such a battle against those bastards and you won.

I'll do my best to fill the void you have left. I never knew you as an adult, but I'm sure you brought wonder and compassion to all those in your life, especially those of us that knew you early. Thanks Henry, thanks for everything.

Need Another Seven Astronauts

2011-07-08T21:41:00.008-04:00

What was the raunchy punchline to an uncool joke in the 1980's, now is a cry for help.

I'm extremely sad today. This week marks the end of the Space Shuttle era. The Atlantis lifted off from Kennedy Space Center and there are no immediate plans for US participation in manned space exploration.

It is sad for me because I think that the awesome mystery of space was the seed of my interest in science. One of my earliest memories is sitting in the living room with my dad and watching the lunar lander on the moon's surface, poised for liftoff. We watched the single-camera grey image of the motionless machine on a black-and-white television, everything on the screen frozen except for a number counting down to liftoff.

The only reason I remember it must be because my dad told me how important of an event it was.

We'd spend the next few years watching spalshdowns and launches. Astronauts were heroes and our nation's command of the final frontier was something to be proud of. We were taking on an ultimate challenge and we were succeeding.

In eighth grade we were introduced to the Space Shuttle. Out teacher brought a television into class so that we could watch the shuttle go up on the back of a 747, be released, and return to earth. We watched the first blastoff for space soon after. Even reruns of that great moment still provoke emotion.

Remember when we used to aim high?

Now we just aim, and hope there are no civilians

in the target area.

In 1986 I was a freshman in college. I watched the launch of the Challenger with my roommate. We felt the great emptiness when it exploded and brave lives were lost.

Today I still get misty at a rocket launch. I still feel great pride that we care enough as a nation to push the limits and desire to be at the cutting edge of exploration and technology. With the last launch and diminishing interest in a space program, I am truly disappointed in us. There is always money to bomb another country, but apparently no interest in pushing the ultimate edge of science.

Sagan, Hawking and others inspired us about exploration of space. It will be necessary for the continuation of the human race and the learning curve will be steep. Future generations will look to the early 2000's and judge us with fanfare or scorn, depending on how we chose to pierce the seal that covered the first discoveries and accelerated those that would follow.

JFK will be a hero, today's leaders a joke.

So I'm sad to see an era end. I hope that maybe someday we'll regain the drive and vision to think beyond our current fiscal year, and peer into the future.

The Argument Against Senior Discounts

2011-07-04T16:13:00.004-04:00

Last month the Social Security Administration predicted its insolvency in 2027, the year I will turn 60. Because it will not be there, I decided that I don't need to pay into it anymore. Of course, my request to the powers that be fell on deaf ears, as my input now is needed to pay for those that are already retired. Their invested funds have been used on things like Medicare and defense (and offense).

So as the baby boomers age they will get their social security payments, thanks to me and those in the subsequent generations.

The generations that enjoyed the benefits of America's massive economic expansion from 1950 to 2000 or so, the generations that saw their home values double, triple or more, the generation that will be the last to receive traditional pensions, the generation that has savings and retirement, the ones that profited from the irrational exuberance of an unfairly inflated stock market-- they will cash in on government benefits.

They were beneficiaries of an unsustainable wealth developing environment. The next ten years will absolutely include higher interest rates, minimal pay increases and higher taxes.

Most people my age and below will not see Social Security. Ever. Worse, most of my cohort have not even considered saving for retirement. Many are just finishing paying for their college degrees. We get a flat housing market (if we're lucky), a stock market and economy that are as likely to crash as they are to go grow, massive insurance and healthcare costs, and inflationary pressure from our nation's economic policies.

Generations previous deserved what they got. Exorbitant practices were rare and most people were dead before they retired. They survived the depression and stormed the beaches of Normandy. Subsequent generations survived disco and puked on the beaches of Daytona.

The baby boomers enjoyed the benefits of traditional retirement, the economic expansion of the US economy, and controlled the election of politicians (D's and R's) that kept taxes relatively low an loopholy, spent more than was brought in, and allowed corporations to profit in the absence of productivity. They supported crooked bankers that should have failed, and projected the costs and residues of the demise forward 20 years.

Yeah, YOU Geezer! Us under 50's can't cover your expenses!

That long diatribe is just me venting. Current generations of old people have the stuff, have the entitlements, and they will never give it up. Because they vote, politicians won't even think about adjusting the spoils of the 60+ set.

Funny also is that those opposed to government sponsored health care will accept medicare and those opposed to big government financial intervention sure will cash that Social Security check.

Everyone currently under 50 is screwed.

So understanding that the boomers have theirs, why can't we change the idea of the senior discount? Maybe extend the free cup of coffee, a free fishing license or early bird special to those of us between 30 and 60? Maybe we could sock that cash away and have a little something for later.

Maybe there is a little silver lining for those of us that are planning carefully. The silver set doesn't realize one thing... who the heck is going to buy their homes and their stuff? When they are ready to liquidate there will be fewer people to buy, and those that are there will have minimal cash to throw around, especially on luxury items. We have no Social Security, remember?

Maybe that's what I have to feel good about. I might be able to buy some old dude's boat and summer home for a fraction of what they want for it. Touche!

Where I Pledge Allegiance

2011-07-01T11:15:00.002-04:00

I think Independence Day is one of our most, if not the most, important holidays. It arose from efforts of brave visionaries that boldly renounced their ties to a previous ruler and established their own fledgling model of governance. Thirteen years later they would frame a durable document that would underlie our nation's fabric for over 222 years.

An old friend of mine posted the Pledge of Allegiance today on Facebook and dared the willing to repost, even with the possibility of "offending others". There are several criticisms of the Pledge that make sense. Mandating that people recite a pledge of allegiance does encroach on First Amendment guarantees. It is also curious that we ask children to pledge allegiance to something that they don't understand. That is in the brainwashing category unless we teach them about our republic first, then request that they participate in the pledge to it.

Probably the biggest sticking point are the words "Under God". I completely understand this point, as it flies directly in opposition to the secular Constitution and the Establishment Clause. These words define that our nation is linked to an omnipotent deity.

Most people that enjoy mixing religion and government (as long as it is their religion) don't realize that these words were not present in the original Pledge. The original was written by a guy named Frances Bellamy in the late 1800's. I don't remember the specifics, but he was a minister that proposed a pledge to protect immigrants. The Pledge of Allegiance would be a way for them to show that they were Americans.

American schoolchildren do the "Bellamy Salute", a salute to the flag established in the late 1800's. Nazis and other goofballs would adopt similar salutes in the 20th century, people were offended, so we changed our salute to the hand over the heart instead.

Somewhere after WWII (that's not the video game for you youngin's out there) Americans started fearing commies and other outsiders. That's a whole nutter story.

In response, various groups like the Daughters of the Revolution and the Knights of Columbus started adding the words "under God" to the Pledge when they recited it in the late 1940's. Soon the religious endorsement started to gain traction, as a contemporary religious fervor countered the void of the godless commies that sought to wreck America (like the gays are trying to do now).

With pressure from religious groups the ever-malleable and history-deprived-feelgood Congress proposed adding the words to the Pledge of Allegiance in 1954. President Eisenhower signed this into law, and our secular government now had a personal belief added to its fabric.

I'm a purist. I like Bellamy's original version best.

I pledge allegiance, to My Flag, and to the Republic for which it stands, with liberty, and justice for all.

That was directly consistent with the founders' plans for our republic.

To me, I think we should not pledge allegiance to a flag, but rather pledge our allegiance to our Constitution, and to the concepts it embodies. That is the root of our republic, not the flag, which is simply a symbol. How about:

I pledge allegiance, to the United States of America, and to the Constitution that guarantees our freedoms, with liberty and justice for all.

That just makes so much more sense.

Amphibians: Whiz on the Hand that Frees; A Life Metaphor

2011-06-02T07:30:00.001-04:00

Sub-tropical Florida is an awesome place, especially if you like the critters. I'm glad to see the plethora of creatures that live around my house and in the woods behind it. We have dozens of birds, raccoons, rabbits, armadillos, deer and more reptiles/amphibians than you can shake a stick at.

Sadly, an occasional frog, toad or lizard finds its way into the garage or screen porch. Once inside, its hot, there's no water, then they fry into a little crispy translucent herpetological chip.

So when I see them I try to catch them. I spend time chasing them around, some are quite elusive. Sometimes I have to move cars or furniture. Sometimes it takes ten minutes.

Then when I finally catch them they give me the big F-U.... by peeing on me.

Frogs in my grill. If I rescue them from a firey demise they

pay me back by anointing me with froggy secretions.

My interaction with the amphibian world is a metaphor for my day today. I can live with committing a thankless act of kindness. It is the kind acts that are rewarded with a sharp stick in the eye or a handful of frog piss that are getting a little old.

Parking in the World of Me-Me-Me

2011-05-30T17:07:00.003-04:00

I just wanted to go home. It was Memorial Day, I ran errands all afternoon instead of doing what I needed to do. I just wanted to go home.

One more stop at the grocery store. It had been almost 40 hours since our last visit, so clearly we needed more stuff.

I'm in front of the grocery store and the car in front of me turns down the aisle. Once it commits to the turn, the brakes come on. A customer just emerged from the store with a cart load of calories and was apparently parked in a spot close to the store. The person in front of me wanted to wait it out, as they could sit for five minutes and then park only 50 feet from the front of the store instead drive the extra three spaces and park 80.

By proxy, I had to sit and wait with Roxy.

"You've got to be kidding me," she said. Meanwhile cars got in queue behind me.

I saw my opening and pulled out of line, went down the next aisle and parked 100 feet from the store.

It took a few minutes to do this, but as we walked back the leaving driver with the groceries slammed the trunk and began to pull out. I ran near the spot and when the idiot that was making everyone wait finally put the car in drive. I walked slowly and deliberately directly in front of their car, thinking, "Now I'm wasting your stupid time".

The best part is that when I looked back to see where Roxy was, she was a car length behind me. What she was doing could only be described as sauntering, and it was a slow, malicious, bitchy saunter that I just wanted to hug her over.

Next time I break in, take their change and lick all of their tic tacs.

Okay, maybe we're childish pricks for being that way, but I'm just fed up with people and their insistence that they are the only people on the damn planet. Selfish losers that fail to note that others share their space need a little tap on the shoulder now and then.

I'm glad that I don't mind giving them a taste of it, and I'm proud that Roxy swings that way too.

No tolerance for the selfish. Wake up. You are not the only person on the damn planet. If you think so, we might remind you otherwise.

The Relationship Built with a Grant Proposal

2011-05-29T11:34:00.005-04:00

It is a glorious Sunday morning with warm sun and blue skies. I'm in my dark office clicking away on a keyboard. I'm writing a grant proposal for an upcoming deadline-- and loving it.

Academic scientists know the grant proposal all too well. These are typically prepared in response to annual solicitations from funding agencies. Here we amass our best ideas and strongest data and eloquently pen the eighteen pages of 12-point font, 1" margin work. It is a discipline of science, persuasion and use of the English language. It is an exercise in thinking, developing ideas, clarifying concepts. We develop a close relationship with this piece of work and fall in love with the science within-- before sending it off to slaughter.

The lay public does not realize it, but science at universities is funded almost 100% by the scientist. The university pays our salary, we do some teaching and service, but the research happens almost exclusively with external funding that we have to go out and find. When you take a look at my lab's picture, each one of the people has a price tag, and I have to shake the money tree to keep them on staff.

Each person in the lab is funded by grants, except for one that has partial state support. Our ability to train the next generation of scientists depends on external funding, and it is a challenge to find it.

Sounds easy. However, funding rates are at an all-time low. Only one out of every fifteen proposals finds support, and each one is worthy of funding. When I review grants for USDA or NSF, I adore the work and admire the vision and cleverness of the researchers. Sure, there are places where we can pick out a problem or suggest an improvement, but the science is beautiful and I know if it were to be funded it would be productive and exciting. Still, the author has a minimal chance of support.

I'm currently writing a proposal, my fourth of this year. Each one is more and more exciting. This one asks for support to study three novel genes, previously undescribed, that influence strawberry fruit size and number. Another gene influences the structure of the plant and encodes a strange protein.

As I write this I am completely in love with the idea. I know that the experiments will be productive, the people on the project will reap great rewards in training, and the findings could help breeding objectives in the strawberry industry. The ideas are fresh, fun, and could change the way we think about how fruits are made.

The sad part is, even if my proposal is as good as everything else in the room I have an 92.5% chance at failure. And that is if my work is as good as everything else, which is a stretch. There's a lot of awesome science out there that desperately needs funding.

So I'm spending Memorial Day weekend punching up a beautifully written project with impeccable organization and the best collaborators for the work. In my heart, I know that it will likely be declined.

I guess it is the idea that the glass is not 92.5% empty, but is 7.5% full. It is that the 7.5% is the only way that this will ever get done. It is that this idea is dead unless I throw my hat in the ring and count on a reviewer to share my vision, to share my excitement, enough to convince a room of scientists to share it too.

We build a relationship with the proposal. It is like the girl in high school that you work hard to impress, knowing damn well that she'll never go to prom with you. You push on anyway 'cause she's got the goods.

Young scientists need to accept rejection, as it is a staple of the business. However, if you enjoy the game of the rhetoric, writing a beautiful sentence, sharing a solid idea, then that has to be the payoff.

In the last eight years I've seen a lot of proposal rejection. But when it comes I read the reviews and agree with them almost all the time. Yes there are always i's to dot and t's to cross that I neglected and maybe there were better ways to do a facet of the work. But every single review shares the love of the idea. That what we need to define as success.

1/720 Chance of Kick-Assliness

2011-05-22T20:45:00.000-04:00

The power went off the other morning, at least that's what I inferred from the fact that every one of the 18 digital clocks was blinking. But they were blinking exactly the right time!

Power must have went on exactly at noon. I'm not adjusting a thing.

When Words Mean Nothing - Starbucks, Tall, and No Coffee.

2011-05-13T22:11:00.001-04:00

All I can say is WTF. WTF? I don't go to Starbucks. The coffee tastes burnt and I'm not happy plunking down three bucks for a cup of coffee. Plus, I don't like the snooty pretentiousness of the place.

Me, if I can't make it at home I want it from a gas station. Gas stations make the best coffee. Its the stuff that keeps truckers wired, the homeless awake and scientists honing their craft.

Last week I went to Starbucks. Roxanne likes Starbucks, but probably because she's not a coffee drinker. We went in and I ordered a coffee. The guy behind the counter wasn't sure how to deal with an order of plain black coffee. He then asks me if I want a "TALL".

I cheerfully nod, anticipating my TALL coffee.

See, where I come from "tall" means, well, tall. It means one that is bigger, possibly higher than the others. You can't have a "tall" unless you have a "short". "Tall" means that there is something on the scale that is smaller. But I am just a rube off the turnip truck, unfamiliar with the ways of high-end coffee getting.

The Starbuck's "Tall" cowers in the shadow of the

48 oz tumbler of goodness from Stinkie Lyle's

Shit N Git. Starbuck's tall, $3. Stinkie Lyle's, $1.06 with tax!

The guy behind the counter puts a Barbie-sized cup of coffee on the counter with my name on it. I turn to Roxanne and tell her that there must be some kind of mistake, as I clearly ordered a "tall" coffee and the thing I received as actually quite short, so short it might keep my heart beating for about ten minutes, enough to get over to Stinkie Lyle's for a good cup of mud.

Turns out that the tall is a short and there is no small, but there is some other things that one could order, and they are not extra tall and extra-super-tall.

I'm saving my coffee dollar for Stinkie Lyle. It tastes better, I get more, it is cheaper, and Stinkie Lyle inches a bit closer to his Nascar tickets with each purchase. Forget Starbucks and their tall that isn't.

Can We Stop It With the Pillows?

2011-04-03T20:17:00.001-04:00

Beds used to be a place to sleep. Somewhere in the last decade they became the place to showcase every single pillow that we've ever owned. Why?

Enough already.

I only need one pillow, maybe two if I'm in a crappy hotel and get the wafer-thin sack of aquarium filter floss. The trend to pillow overconsumption started with the idea known as the "pillow sham". It tells you right in the name that it is an adornment steeped in cheap deception! It is not like a bed full of pillows looks clean and organized, so why make a bed just to cover it in stuff? It is just another damn rubic's cube that I have to navigate between brushing my teeth and going to sleep.

When I was in grad school I lived in a dump apartment above a noisy bar and didn't own a bed. I had a beanbag and a pile of pillows on the floor. It was fine because it served the need.

Now I see a bed full of pillows and I just want to know why it has to be that way. Is it just a statement of our nation's worship of fluffy things? Is it a reminder of our bedding decadence over those other banket-n-sheet cultures? Keeping ahead of the bed Jones' somehow?

A bed is where I sleep. 14 decorative pillows just slows the process.

Sheryl Crow- Naturalist Doofus.

2011-03-28T22:54:00.001-04:00

A change would do her good. I mean well.

Not only is her grasp of the English language relaxed, she now is evangelizing her harness on healthy living. Of course, this five years after she developed breast cancer. She's been cancer free for five years and apparently has changed facets of her lifestyle that she feels will keep her healthy going forward.

That's fine. The problem is that she espouses so many facets of the naturalist fallacy. She goes on and on about organic food and buying locally. She then says that this frequently involves shopping at Wal-Mart, one of the biggest sellers of organic food. I guess buying locally means actually plunking down her gold card at the Wally somewhere near where tour bus stops, where for the rest of us it means buying food grown close to our homes.

The part I just hate is how she completely fails to acknowledge how she was cured. She goes on and on about natural food, anti-oxidants and other flimsy feel good topics. She paints this facade that healthy living cured her, not modern medicine.

Again, it is easy to eat healthy and enjoy the finest organically grown greens when you are a wealthy celebrity. To go on television and sell a book, make unsupported claims, and tout bogus science is truly irresponsible.

Susan Sommers would be proud. Maybe jealous.

Why Canada Rules!

2011-03-23T16:13:00.001-04:00

How's it goin' hosers? I'm up here in the Great White North, the 51st State known as Canada, eh. Here's just tree reasons why Canada is so cool.

1. High Speed Driving

I cross that border from the oppression of The Man in the USA and see that "100" sign... time to put the pedal to the metal! The sign looks blurry because I was going 110!!

2. Multi Culturalism

Everything is in English AND Spanish!

3. Cheap Gas

I haven't seen prices like this since high school!

Never Cried Over Pasta

2011-02-26T18:30:00.000-05:00

Until today.

It didn't even occur to me. Today is Saturday and I finished work a bit early, around 4 pm, allowing me enough time to stop at the store and make dinner- not just put something together, but actually cook. Make real dinner.

I opted to make a big pot of pasta sauce with Italian sausage.

I malliardized the onions, added fresh garlic, then assembled the pasta sauce that my mom taught me how to make years ago. Then it hit me. She's gone. The smell is here, the same thoughtful assembly of ingredients in the right proportions and right order was here, but she's gone.

My kitchen smelled like her kitchen and I crashed.

As a kid I learned how to cook from my mother. She was really good, good at a gut instinct for what to add and in which proportions. I guess that is where I get it from. When I was in Cub Scouts part of the badge requirement was to learn how to set a table and how to assist with serving a meal. I learned that stuff from my parents. Dinner was a formal daily event, and it was always good.

The pasta sauce is not so much a recipe as an assembly. It comes from my mom's best friend's mother, a person I called grandma until she passed away, and for the most part of that time it was unclear why I got to have three grandmothers. Why argue with that? She was Greek, but knew how to cook Italian.

My mom borrowed that recipe and at one point showed me how to do it. My house smells like her house, right now.

At some point I showed this to my nephew and will show it to my niece eventually. This one is too good to lose.

I have not written anything because I've kept myself packed with business so that I can't think about the grieving process. If I keep running I can't have the time to break down.

Being in Gainesville, FL I can avoid pictures, I can avoid the topic. I live 1154 miles away so I can't see her home or think about the places she'd go or the things she'd do.

But I can't hide from the wonderful aromas and the thoughts and memories they carry with them.

I've been blindsided into grief by a steaming pot of simmering tomato goo. This will be a long process.

No Time

2011-02-26T08:54:00.000-05:00

I always made time for writing a blog, but lately I've had to focus 100% on writing grants and papers. I've had to get back into the lab, clean my office, and take care of student concerns.

My hope is that things are returning to normal, but I start teaching on Monday, so I probably won't be writing, reading, or doing anything I'd like to do until April. Yikes.

Speaking at Darwin Day, Feb 12

2011-02-03T14:55:00.002-05:00

"The Fossils in a Helix: What Genome Sequencing Tells Us About Evolution"

The talk describes how the recent explosion of genome sequence data informs and shapes our understanding of evolution. The sequence of DNA is a chemical fossil, preserved in the lineage of generations, that catalogs elegant stories of ancestry and inter-relationships.

Darwin Day is an event hosted by the Ft. Lauderdale Center for Inquiry. The event features speakers that describe the influence of Charles Darwin's contributions to our understanding of life, and how modern science has expanded his seminal findings.

The talks are at Broward College Central Campus at 11am, Feb 12, 2011. There likely will be some small admission charge. For details check here.

40 Hours Without a Mother

2011-01-28T11:31:00.005-05:00

Yes, I'm counting.

I've only been motherless for 40 hours and I'm sad, confused, and mad.

Mom was 64, young by today's standards. She was kind, giving, loving and true. Her exit is premature, and should not have happened. After open heart surgery she went into cardiac arrest and could not be revived. An enlarged heart, pulmonary hypertension and her general physiology was stressed to the point where even the best science was not enough to beat bad biology.

She still should be here, still could be here, and if viewed through my eyes would be here.

Call me inappropriate or worse. I'm searching for a silver lining on a dark cloud.

My mother didn't have to die at this point, but strangely I've been mourning her death for at least five years. Whenever I'd leave her home in Chicago to drive back to my home in Florida after a Christmas visit, I'd cry when I hit full speed on the interstate a few miles from her home.

I don't know why I was the only one that was affected by watching her walk ten feet and have to rest. I would cry when I heard her suffering as she'd lift herself up a flight of stairs over several minutes. She'd say that she was afraid to go to sleep because she thought she might not wake up. This stuff ripped me up every year, but I respected her desire to make her own decisions and keep my little pile of rocks in place inside my own glass house. If I offered my concerns it was viewed as me sticking my nose where it didn't belong or in some cases a personal attack. So I said nothing, and I grieved.

Every year I thought it was the last time I'd see her alive. This year I was right.

The take home message is take care of yourself. Do what the doctors tell you and if they say "don't do X-Y-Z", then don't do X-Y-Z. You might even break access with X-Y-Z and ask people not to give you X-Y-Z.

No, she wasn't a drug addict or alcoholic, anything like that. She did suffer from similar issues with food, sugar, salt and other lifestyle choices that exacerbated her diabetes and heart condition.

The other major killer here was apathy and fear. Early on when she was diagnosed with diabetes it was almost a joke to her. She ate what she wanted, took pills to control the sugar levels and didn't change much. Her best friend dying from diabetes, degenerating vision, bad kidney numbers and an inability to heal didn't change things.

The prelude to her untimely exit was established long ago.

In her absence I'm angry. I'm angry because if some things were done differently we would not be going through this right now. I'm angry because she was supposed to get a huge reward with wonderful golden years. She was supposed to see the products of her outstanding motherhood, successful children that now could take care of her.

I'm going through the normal stages of grief, just faster than everyone else because I've been living with sadness for so long already. Now I'm off to anger and questioning.

Take care of yourself. Do it for those that love you and those that need you.

Mom's Ticker Fix - Thanks Science.

2011-01-24T22:06:00.001-05:00

My mom was pretty young when she had me, and I was especially young at that time too. Thus, at 44 years old she's still just 20 years older than me, the same as when I was born. Yet in the same time I have gone from 0% of her age at birth to a little less than 5% at my first birthday to 68.7% of her age now. As we approach infinity our ages will essentially converge.

I point this out because it is fun to be in a similar age bracket as your parents, or at least close to it. It is a reminder that I will soon get the senior discount at Denny's (free coffee starts at 50).

Having young parents is great. They still can do stuff. Unfortunately my mom has wrestled with diabetes and a multitude of heath issues. One of these is a bad heart valve. Apparently her aortic valve never was quite right, so it is causing her life-threatening problems.

Science to the rescue.

Today she was fitted with a new valve and some coronary bypass plumbing to compensate for narrowing passages. When she was born in 1946, someone with the same problems would have died, no questions asked.

Her problem was so extreme that as she was getting checked by angiography today her doctors elected to not wait to the surgery. They wheeled her into the operating theater today and started re-plumbing. Tonight she's in the ICU and apparently still out from anesthesia.

While we always have concerns when people go into a medical arena to correct a severe problem, I saw this with great relief. I've watched her deteriorate for the last decade, at the same time living in a self deception that all was quite rosy. I think the rest of my family felt that all was well too. They see it every day so they don't see the radical changes I see every six months. The progression of the disease crept in slowly and stole her function, yet it was only really clear from a distance.

So now she's officially on the road to recovery. Thanks science. That's another reason why I was comfortable. She was in the hands of experts, people that do this every day with skillful precision. Valves, arteries, blood- that's child's play for these men and women.

Perhaps the new ticker parts will spur a new outlook on life and a warm sense of improvement. Science can only do so much, now the human spirit has to take over.

Next my dad's gimpy leg!

No Appreciation for the Scotch

2011-01-23T22:32:00.006-05:00

Many moons ago my old roommate Tim took me out carousing with his new business associates. See, he had graduated from college with an MBA and was sucked into the world of high finance. Me, I was a reasonably unseasoned graduate student, stinky, broke and occasionally (++++++/-) intoxicated.

They wore ties and suits, I was wearing a t-shirt full of bleach holes and gay white Jerry Seinfeld sneakers. Heck, it was the early 90's. As we celebrated my visit we went out for Scotch. Yes Scotch. Like the tape, only booze.

Smarmy business dudes love the Scotch, and love it they did. Me, ah, it was a little bit like robot tinkle. This coming from the graduate student in Chicago who kept a brick of Night Train fortified wine in the freezer, and enjoyed it. Heck, it was a $1.09 a pint at Sal's Taylor Street Grocery Store, so when in Rome... but I digress.

We drank the scotch, I thought it sucked, slash-cut to 2011.

I was invited to a party to sample Scotch. While my brain may have gained sophistication my palate was pure Sunday at the Wal-Mart. The hosts put out quite an elaborate spread- Scotch from all over the world- Japan, the USA, even Scotland. They had it arranged by flavors, smoky, peaty, or clean.

They sipped. I watched. I tried me a glass of some of the more mild flavored Scotch. I drank it, wanted to spit it into the sink, but worked it down. When I finished my glass I got a cordial refill from the host, never wanting to see a guest without the finest Scotch.

I don't want to sound unappreciative, as anyone that likes Scotch would have been in heaven. The food was great, the people were friendly, and it was a lot of fun to hear experts talk about something they are passionate about.

To me, I felt like it was such a waste. Like serving Kobi Beef at a Vegan Chicago get together.

So I would finish my drink, by the sink, then fill my glass with tap water and sip, sip, sip. No sense in wasting the good stuff on a guy with hillbilly taste buds and a tainted palate.

I felt bad because the hosts wanted me to learn about Scotch and enjoy it. It was a very kind gesture that fell on deaf ears. However, it was a great success. Even in the presence of those that could teach me about the details of a extravagance I never would normally encounter, I still would rather elect to have a Pabst Blue Ribbon and a shot of J.D..

Glad I like the cheap stuff, and glad I have friends that are willing to teach me of new, fine things-- even if I never gain the ability to see their magic.

Pinball Repair Master Adrift in the Age of Modern Marketing

2011-01-21T13:05:00.018-05:00

Florida State Highway 33 is a desolate ribbon of asphalt that connects Polk City to Groveland, two places that are little more than speed bumps and never destinations. It is an artery we must transit when moving between Gainesville and the USDA labs in Winter Haven, FL, as they do a lot of analytical chemistry in association with our projects. There are no gas stations, mini marts or scenic stops, just mile after mile of pine and palm, broken up only by a toothless goon here and there, occasionally one rolling a tire.

About six miles out of Polk City and 21 miles before Groveland there is a sign hammered into a naked spot on a tree. It is about eighteen inches wide and twelve inches tall. It is unpainted wood and features black block letters that say PINBALL REPAIR, followed by a phone number.

Now, what are the odds.... you see where I'm going.

Imagine the almost infinite alignment that needs to happen here. First, someone has to own a pinball machine. Next, it has to be broken. Next, they have to want to repair it. Next, they could find nobody to do the work. Next, they have to be driving north on Florida State Road 33 from Polk City to Groveland, during the day. Finally, they have to actually spy this rather innocuous sign, then be quick with a pen to jot down the phone number.

WTF? I think you'd be more likely to find Bigfoot walking arm-in-arm with Jimmy Hoffa in the middle of Disneyland, or the Cubs winning the Super Bowl.

Sadly I picture a sixty-something unkept guy, perhaps missing a limb, sitting near an old rotary dial phone in his home near the modest suburbs of (ahhem) Polk City. Every morning he dons the coveralls, sits down at his work desk by 9AM, on time, every day, waiting for a service call. He sits among boxes of flippers, bumpers, plungers and tilt lights, maybe rolling a heavy shiny silver ball across his desk over and over to keep what's left of his sanity.

But the call never comes. Perhaps once in the middle of the night the phone exploded into its song, leaving him only to find a wrong number.

He might wonder what is wrong. Is his advertising network not connecting with its market? Maybe he needs to modernize his marketing strategy, perhaps a note in the church bulletin or maybe he needs to thumb it up to Groveland and put ads under windshield wipers at the DQ. Clearly the net he has cast is not reaching his potential clientele in broken-pinball-machine space.

To me it speaks to the ambitions of the human spirit and how well-intended ideas die from poor execution. Next time I'm down there I'm going to get that number and make the phone call. Stand by for details.

Your HorrorScope

2011-01-19T15:56:00.012-05:00

The universe does not care about you. It does not have any secret plans, messages, or knowledge of the future. It collectively knows nothing. It exclusively obeys the sterile laws of physics.

The universe is mostly a gy-normous vacuous void rarely punctuated with big rocks, giant blobs of gas and burning furnaces, any of which want you dismantled into your components. All matter is not created nor destroyed, but is continually recycled into new forms with great speed and precision on the astronomical time scale. Any biological matter is a minor dust that is snuffed out as fast as it is started. Your existence does not even exist on this scale. You’ll go from a bad idea, to a free-living consumer of Wal-Mart stuff, to a box of dust and mercury fillings (maybe some metal plates or bags of silicone) in fraction of a wink of an astronomical moment.

The recent flap about the rearrangement of the zodiac has left many a true believer or tattoo enthusiast clamoring for answers—How does the addition of an additional astrological sign affect me (and my poor decisions)?

Some India ink, a good safety pin and some

good ol' jailhouse ingenuity and you can change

"Aries" to "Picies". That's one of the easy fixes.

The truth is, it doesn’t. The position of stars, moons and planets never affected you one bit. In fact there is only one planet whose motion affects you, and that’s because it dictates if it is day or night, winter or summer. Your butt is parked on it right now. If you fish in the ocean the tides might matter, so the moon might exert some minor influence on you that way, but for most people position of planets is of zero consequence.

The only way the bits of the universe can affect you is if you decide to let it affect you via the scientifically empty words of for-profit con-artists. Anyone that claims that they can use your astrological sign or planet position to describe you or make predictions of your future is either lying or practicing self deception.

There is no science to astrology. There can’t be. There is no plausible mechanism. Sure, it made sense before people actually realized that the stars were suns of distant galaxies and that constellations are arrangements only decipherable from Earth. A lot of stuff made perfect sense back when we were dumb.

But in 2011 we have a sophistication that allows us to see past the bogus promises of such practices. Still people choose to believe them.

The time within the calendar year when you were born has nothing to do with your eventual life. Where you were born, when in history you were born, who received you upon birth, your access to food, shelter, education, clean water, medical care—these are the major drivers of downstream outcomes. From there, your own decisions, based on your acceptance or refutation of evidence will be a central factor determining what happens to you and how you respond to it.

The universe does not care about you. Get over it. In the eyes of the cosmos you are not so special. While you are a guest within the film of life that covers this rock, you are the captain of your own ship. Don't rely on superstition to dictate direction of your limited days.

What Else Can We Maraschino?

2011-01-15T08:51:00.001-05:00

My recent post on the sequencing of the Maraschino cherry got me to thinking, how do they make the damn things in the first place? Can the technology be applied to other foods, like eggplant or cucumbers?

Then this morning I made lunch for my niece and put in a bag of cherries, real ones, like the ones grown on trees. She said she didn't really like cherries, that she had one once on top of ice cream and it wasn't good. In her continued ability to shock me to death I realized that she had mistaken the Maraschino cherry for a legitimate fruit. Ugh.

Then I remember that the curvaceous Pink Lady in Grease was Marty Maraschino. She was portrayed by actress Dinah Manhoff that would later go on to star as Kathy Cumberland in Mork and Mindy. What was my strange fascination with the Maraschino Cherry?

Believe it or not, there's good

story behind this thing.

Curious about the process of Maraschinoification, I turned to the interwebs for guidance. Turns out these things were restricted to royalty, as they were basically cherries pickled in Maraschino liqueur. They were originally marasca cherries, a specific kind of sour cherry grown in Croatia.

Throughout the 1900's they gained popularity in drinks and as an ice cream accessory.

Now it gets hard to believe. It turns out that the modern Maraschino cherry was developed in Oregon at Oregon State University. I have many friends and colleagues out there, so this starts to hit close to home!

Turns out that in the early 1900's Oregon was producing tons of cherries, but they were a variety with marginal post-harvest quality. In short, they turned to mush when you shipped them. At the time the main consumers could purchase Italian cherries in brine and didn't find the Oregon cherries appealing.

Enter Earnest Weigand, a horticulturalist that dabbled in canning and preserving food. He came to Corvallis in 1919, at the time Oregon Agricultural College. The college president's brother-in-law was a cherry grower and connected him to Weigand. Weigand then spends the next six years (1925-1931) figuring out how to pickle cherries. The breakthrough was the addition of calcium chloride, making them easily preservable. Then, a tariff imposed on Italian imports helped the Maraschino cherry industry in Oregon emerge.

Today OSU features Weigand Hall and a course Maraschino Cherry 102 that details the history and production of this foodstuff. Oregon also is the cradle of contemporary Maraschino cherry production.

How do they make them? Fresh-picked cherries are placed in a brining solution of soduim metabisulfate, citric acid and calcium chloride. Brining removes the color and dehydrates the cells. The cherries are then sorted and pitted mechanically. They are rinsed to remove the brining solution and then soaked in high fructose corn syrup and red food color. The final packing placed them into jars with the syrup, some preservatives (potassium sorbate and sodium benzoate) and almond flavor are added. That is how you make a maraschino cherry.

And they are as nutritious as shoe leather!

There is apparently a book or article on the subject, Science, Service and Specialized Agriculture: The Re-Invention of the Maraschino Cherry, by J.Christopher Jolly. I'll do some digging and follow up.

I'm also going to try to make Maraschino grapes, cucumbers and celery. We'll see how that goes.

44% Done. And Feelin' Groovy

2011-01-11T17:00:00.009-05:00

It is my birthday. The 44th to be exact, my 45th January 11th on this earth. Turning 44 on 1-11-11 does conjure a desire to buy a lottery ticket, but I'll pass.

Many comment on the mid forties in a negative way. People fear aging, and probably for good reason. As we pass through the years injuries heal more slowly and it takes extra effort to maintain mental acuity, sensory ability, along with general strength and speed. The physical manifestations are a slippery slope that you must battle with an ice pick and a good pair of cleats. People will say that after forty you are over the hill. I'd like to think that I'm still on the way up the hill. Perhaps I am the hill!

Back when I was twenty-two, half my lifetime ago, I remember drinking a case of beer with by friend X24 and sitting in lawn chairs in the snow outside of my crappy DeKalb, Illinois student ghetto apartment. It was an unusually warm day and the frat-row puke had just started to thaw, emitting a dainty bouquet picked up between sips.

"Do you realize this is the smartest we'll ever be", he said staring into the sky.

I didn't reply, at least out loud. I was pretty sure that he was right. We'd seen plenty of guys around town in their 30's, 40's and older and they didn't seem to impress us on a regular basis. Heck, we were surrounded by college-age guys and we thought that most of them were generally useless. It was the beginning of the end.

My nieces Anglea and Alex (with winter coat on), my dog Stinkie

and nephew Kyle watch me crack open my secret reserve stash of

Four Loko (lemon flavor) on my birthday.

However, with the benefit of retrospect I guess I would not agree with our assessment at the time. It is not time that is evil, it is the decisions you make through time that rob you of potential, options and energy.

The decisions to stay in school forever, pursue an academic career, take on new challenges, marry a wonderful female, have awesome friends, solid family and keep physically active I think have all provided positive benefits.

The other big difference is that at 22 I was a student and couldn't find two nickels to rub together, a problem that followed me through 13 years of post-secondary education and four years of postdoctoral work. Not a problem now.

Back then I didn't buy luxuries like pasta. We'd eat what we could catch, shoot or what fell off of a truck. Now I buy good cheese and weirdo vegetables. How far we've come.

Some things I would not have predicted at twenty-two years old about the forty-four me:

1. I'd be skilled at getting things done.
2. I'd smell not bad much.
3. I'd have some of the same clothes
4. I'd prefer Old Milwaukee to single-malt scotch
5. I'd prefer soft cottony fabrics to synthetics.
6. I'd rarely get to fish, but ride a kayak a lot
7. I'd think about playing guitar and would do it 5 times a year, but only at full blast
8. I'd be a professor at a major university
9. People would seek my advice about super important stuff
10. That the "Pull My Finger" gag would still work-- hysterically
11. That I'd dupe a really hot and clever woman into tolerating me for 16 years
12. I'd prefer to ride my bike over driving
13. That I'd get to work 80 hours a week in an awesome job
14. I'd still have a clown suit and wear it at least once a year.
15. I'd prefer a work truck to something snazzy.
16. I'd still like music that makes parents wince and ears bleed
17. I'd have all of my teeth, hair and fingers.
18. I'd wear pants two inches bigger in the waist
19. I'd live in Florida
20. I'd still go see a good band when possible- and be the oldest guy there by 15 years.
21. I'd be a reasonably agile karate dude and shitty distance runner that runs distance all the time.
22. I'd look forward to shoveling snow for my dad.

So 44 is good, but 45 will be better and 85 will be better yet. 99 will kick ass.

I'm planning on calling it quits at 100. I'm retiring on my 100th birthday and ceasing all physical activity. I'm going to eat and drink like a pig and drop dead that afternoon, maybe surrounded by trophy wives after my conversion to a polygamist religion at 99.75. While some think this is a morbid plan, I think it is a sweet one. With a 100 year perspective, every year I know what percent I have left and can budget and plan wisely.

So today I pass 44% and no mid-life crisis in sight. Maybe next year, but probably at noon on June 15th after I turn 50 for a few minutes.

Happy B-Day to me.

Scientists Sequence Maraschino Cherry

2011-01-10T08:13:00.004-05:00

PINEDALE, WY-- A group of scientists have collaborated to present the sequence of the Maraschino Cherry. Recent genome sequencing efforts in other rosaceous crops like apple, peach and strawberry provide a valuable context for this discovery. The work was led by Dr. Robert Cummings of the University of Western Wyoming.

"We wanted to learn the fundamental makeup of this curious fruitstuff", said Cummings. "It is a tremendously valuable crop, worth more on a per-pound basis than most other common fruit crops. People don't even realize it is a fruit, and to be honest we were starting to wonder too- the best way to learn about its unique properties is to perform whole-genome sequencing."

Straddling the line between chemistry and biology,

scientists have sequenced the genome of the

Maraschino cherry. The effort was sponsored by

the Fruit Cocktail Marketing Board.

The challenge for the sequencing team was not the sequencing itself, but simply extracting DNA. Numerous attempts were made to isolate the genetic material without success.

"Turns out just grinding it in its own juice was a caustic enough process to liberate nucleic acids," said Dr. Jane Belinda Wolf, postdoctoral researcher in the project. "The damn things basically thumbed their chemical noses at any lab reagents we'd use."

Results of the study indicate that the Maraschino cherry has the smallest genome of any organism thus far sequenced.

"In a nutshell, I can tell you that the DNA we could find tells us we are working with a special organism. The entire genome as we know it- it is T, yes, T-- only T," said Cummings. "A genome of a single base, as evidenced by the sequencing of all materials successfully recovered."

The single-base genome not only represents a new paradigm for genome structure, but also invokes new rules for gene regulation. The challenge to Cummings is to now figure out how such complexity can come from a single molecule.

"At first I was stumped, as it is only one base, but maybe it is a complicated base with much deeper information than we can understand from within the trappings of our mortal coils," remarked Cummings.

The Institute for Creation Research (ICR) acknowledges these findings and calls them proof of Intelligent Design.

"In some interpretations of Genesis it was not an apple that Eve picked, but rather a Maraschino cherry from a Maraschino cherry tree. It remains a perfect reminder of creation to this day 6,000 years later, and Dr. Cumming's work simply reinforces that," said an unnamed spokesperson for ICR.

Cummings added, "This organism straddles the boundary between chemistry and biology, so we'd expect surprises. But when you think about it, it is most at home with booze, Cool Whip and amixed (sic) with synthetic confections, so it sorta kinda does make complete sense."

The Cause of Mysterious Bird/Fish Deaths Revealed!

2011-01-08T07:21:00.006-05:00

Over the last week there have been numerous reports of widespread avian and fish death. Apparently large swarms of birds and huge schools of fish give up the ghost for no known reason. Or so it is thought.

The genius think tank over at Natural News has it all figured out. In his January 4th column Mike Adams applies his usual less-than-rigorous approach to resolve this mystery. The column speculates based on zero evidence:

For all we know, these 100,000 dead fish are downstream from a field of GMO corn that mutated into something even more deadly than the GMOs we already know. This may not be so far-fetched, actually:Monsanto has a corporate office in Arkansas(in Stuttgart, Arkansas) that's not too many miles from the Arkansas River.

Let me get this straight. His hypothesis is that there was a mutation in GMO corn that was specific to the transgene, not the 40,000 other genes, and then this corn was magically transported into water and killed fish, because the Monsanto office is a few miles away.

Is it just me, or does this reek of intellectual emptiness?

Adams makes his usual allegations and conclusions without any evidence supporting them. In other words, making shit up. Only the scientifically bankrupt could make such leaps. In typical Natural News/Anti-GMO fashion, the ignorant choose to dismiss real causes and facts to promote an agenda that feels groovy but is scientifically baseless. This misdirection leads us away from real causes and eventual, scientific solutions.

Yo Mike, what are the "deadly GMOs we already know"? From the peer-reviewed literature please. Oh, that's right, you can't find it there because BigFarma owns all the journals and scientists, leaving websites and opinions to do the scholarly heavy lifting.

Sadly, the article was also picked up by Google News. That's how I found it. The problem is that Natural News isn't about news at all, it is a website dedicated to promoting the naturalistic fallacy. There is no science, no rigor, no review, just the opinions of a few whack jobs that make money by promoting junk and junk science.

Of course, maybe if the fish and birds were wearing Kinoki Foot Pads or energy bracelets this stuff would not happen.

Scintillating Dinner Conversations...

2010-12-30T08:18:00.011-05:00

... on a tiny, tiny keyboard... that don't involve me.

This is the frustrating reality of life in the smartphone era- a syndrome I refer to as Hyper-Connectivity Addiction. The syndrome presents itself as a constellation of symptoms, ranging from inappropriate use of electronic communication devices, prioritization of electronic interaction over personal interaction, and etiquette-busting rudeness with no sense of time or place for use of personal electronics.

Over the last year, going out to dinner with others frequently turns from a time to share conversation and time together into a time where I watch someone play with a phone. Whether it is texting, talking, or checking their fairy-tale football team, the time at the table previously filled with witty banter, personal interaction and news exchange has transformed into the prime venue to catch up on trivial electronic business with the rest of the world.

Now, it could just be that I'm boring and bring nothing to the table, leading those I'm with to seek distraction. I fully admit that possibility.

However, I really think that there's a time and a place for technology. I am trying to train my 12 and 16 year old nieces on how to have a conversation. I'd like to hear about their schoolwork, their days, etc. Two of my nephews are 20 and 22. We were disconnected for 7 years and they grew into really cool guys. I look forward to the limited time I have with them, but invariably have to share it with the rest of the world via iPhone.

Again, maybe I'm just boring. Or smell. Or both.

Good times at dinner, watching family electronically
interact with the rest of the world.

(Taken with a smart phone)

And I do verbally request that phones be put away, usually met by rolling eyeballs and a few minutes of phone-free time.

My wife will tell me that all I do is talk on the phone during dinner all the time, which I wholeheartedly disagree. It is one of my pet peeves, right up there with throwing out food and sock puppets. I usually use the time in a restaurant or other philosophically phone-free zone as an opportunity to leave my phone charging in the car. I am rarely guilty of this atrocity.

On rare occasions, maybe once every two months, I am expecting a call that must be prioritized. If it coincides with a meal (at home or away) I mention that I may have to take a call. When the call comes, I excuse myself from the table and go to a lobby or non-intrusive area to take the call. I minimize the time away from the table as best I can.

Maybe I sound like gramps here, but the day that a solar flare takes out the goddamn SmartPhone satellite I'm going to rejoice. I'm taking my wife, dad, nieces and nephews out for dinner and we'll talk with no interruptions. Again, it could just be me. I don't get enough time with my wife, dad or family and really do appreciate those fleeting times.

It is a question of priority, unplugging, just for a bit. The world will be just fine-- even if people can pry themselves out of the cloud for 45 minutes.

The table is a great place to connect-- but with the person across the table rather than the person across the country.

The Strawberry Genome: The Story Behind the Story

2010-12-26T22:32:00.004-05:00

Today we have witnessed something that many of us thought we'd never see- the completed publication of the strawberry genome. The story appeared today in Nature Genetics.

But what is the story behind the story? As someone that was there from the beginning, I think it is helpful to recap the highlights and lowlights that did not reach the journal article. It adds much more texture to the news release and gives a much better understanding of the process of getting from crazy idea to final publication.

When next-generation sequencing came into vogue, there was immediate buzz about sequencing strawberry. It was late 2005. Arabidopsis and rice were fully sequenced, others were in progress and other plants were in line for genome sequencing. At the time we solicited various government agencies for the funds to use the new 454 sequencer at the University of Florida. We were one of the first places with the platform, so we dreamed of using it in a revolutionary way. The tiny strawberry genome was an obvious target. We asked for around $100,000 to start the process, soliciting mostly through earmarks and initiatives that UF put forward to the State of Florida. Heck, it costs $200K to improve an intersection, so half of that to get an accounting of the nuts and bolts of an economically important crop plant should be of some priority.

Funds never materialized. However, the opportunity to apply for funds from DOE-JGI came to the table. The funding solicitation was broken down to two levels, genomes over and under 200 Mb. Since strawberry was estimated to be just around 200Mb, it seemed to be a no brainer for the under 200 Mb solicitation. Dr. Tom Davis from University of New Hampshire submitted the letter of intent for the January 13, 2006 deadline, days before the Plant Animal Genome meeting in San Diego.

At the Rosaceae Executive Committee annual meeting on Jan. 15 Tom announced that he had submitted the letter. The news was not well received. The broader Rosaceae community had discussed sequencing a plant species, but interest swirled around peach and apple, mostly peach. Those organisms, while possessing larger genomes, had good physical maps and substantial Sanger sequencing support. After a rather pointy discussion, Tom was convinced to withdraw his strawberry sequencing proposal, differing to the eventual DOE-JGI support of peach.

It was a blow to those of us that hoped that a strawberry/peach combo platter would be possible, but the broader feeling was that we would not get both, we'd get neither. Who knows? I'm from the camp that if you have a compelling scientific argument you have to ask if you are going to get. There's also some merit in thinking big- and an opportunity to get two for the price of one seemed legit to me, and certainly to Tom. Oh well.

Time went on. It was clear that there was going to be little/no support for strawberry sequencing.

At PAG in San Diego, 2008, Vladimir Shulaev and Richard Veilleux from Virginia Tech attended the Rosaceae Executive Committee meeting. Vladimir announced that Virginia Tech had thrown support behind the idea of genome sequencing- both some financial support as well as technical and facility support. This was the seed that was needed. The discussion had a pure "pass-the-hat" flavor to it. Nobody had big funds, but Vlad and Richard had a big idea. That proved to eliminate the first major barrier to a complete sequence.

After that meeting Vladimir, Janet Slovin, Tom Davis, Todd Michael and I met in a corner of the conference hall and talked about where to get the rest of the funds needed. We wrote a quick grant proposal to the North American Strawberry Growers Association, asking for $8000. We brainstormed on other options.

Months later, the NASGA grant was declined, but other funds were coming in. Most of all, Roche 454 was giving an excellent break on reagents. It was important for them that we succeeded.

Many other pools of funds materialized, including money from IASMA (italy), the USDA (J. Slovin), Virginia Tech, Driscoll's Strawberry Associates, Plant and Food Research (New Zealand), and the Dean for Research at UF. Our strawberry breeding program pitched in as well. Of course, many labs donated time and expertise. The value of this contribution can not be understated, as literally thousands of human hours were committed to this project with no guarantee of reward.

Sequencing proceeded almost exclusively at Virginia Tech, with some paired ends being done at Roche 454. The runs were being performed as funds would come in and substantial coverage was brewing. Weekly conference calls would tell us of increasing coverage.

There were skeptics. Many in genomics, including some friends, predicted failure. They told us that there was no way that a draft sequence could be obtained without a physical map, and especially with a purely short-read based approach. Time would prove them incorrect.

Soon after new people joined the consortium, including many experts in genome annotation. Mark Borodovsky, Paul Burns, Todd Mockler, Keithanne Mockaitis and others all came aboard, sequencing mRNA libraries that my lab put together from various tissues, then annotating the genome accordingly.

Assembly was facilitated by Steven Salzberg's lab at U Maryland. Art Delcher really advanced this project forward, as Newbler itself was not providing ample collapse of contigs. Finally advanced assemblies were reported during our conference calls. Scaffolds were getting larger.

The genome browser came online with expert input from Ross Crowhurst at Plant and Food Research. PFR had a huge role, with experts like Andy Allan and Roger Hellens contributing. The final version is at www.strawberrygenome.org

The scaffolds were anchored to the genetic linkage map by Dan Sargent at East Malling Research in the UK. This exercise was a massive undertaking and involved input from Jasper Rees' lab. This was really important because it provided organization of the scaffolds that placed them into pseudochromosomes.

Functional annotation was performed with the expert care of Pankaj Jaiswal and his lab. Aaron Liston assembled a chloroplast and ran some excellent phylogenetic analyses with Allan Dickerman. These data suggest a rethinking of how poplar clusters with other taxa.

The last year was a grind. Every 4pm we'd have a conference call with fewer and fewer members. Even pivotal people, there from the beginning, were losing interest or were consumed with other priorities. Things were uninteresting and heading towards collapse. All of us were burned out and bored.

I tried to stir some momentum and interest with daily email updates, but even this futile effort ended in about a week. It was sad that we had all of the data in one place. No more sequencing was being done, annotation and predictions were complete and the genome browser was up and running to those with credentials.

Talk about frustration. We had the genome sequence in a pile, but the report was a disorganized mess of fragmented ideas looking for codification.

Luckily some enthusiasm was found at PAG 2010. Vladimir presented the genome work at a major symposium. It looked awfully sweet on the big screen and many of us felt a sense of prime time. It was energizing.

Todd Mockler, Todd Michael and Tom Davis met. Later that night we had a strategy-n-pizza meeting with all of those present in the consortium. Many of us met in person for the first time. Our decision was that we'd assemble a "writing team", a small group to put the massive outline and verbose rantings of thirty eggheads into a publishable format. Tom, Tia-Lynn, Richard, Aaron, Todd, Andy, Mark, Herman, Lee, Dan, and I attacked this charge. We worked fast and with purpose, submitting a pre-submission inquiry to Nature in February of 2010.

Our solicitation was declined about two weeks later. We formatted for Nature Genetics. The slow re-submission was due to additional data coming in, and we finally submitted in June. Reviews were back in August. High quality, appropriately critical reviews led us to reshape to a stronger version of the work and then resubmit in September, 2010.

Final acceptance didn't come until late November. Most people, even those close to the project, don't know that we were down to the wire for addressing editorial concerns toward publication. I have no finger nails left. Even this last week there were serious concerns if it would be published because some of our data were not accessible online.

The work found needed final touches by an outstanding team of re-writers and proofers. Some of those in the consortium somehow mustered up another awesome critical read. We had no warning- and a 24 hour deadline. A good paper got a final makeover. Richard, Keithanne, Tom D., Janet, Aaron, Todd Mockler, Lee, Herman and others gave volumes of excellent suggestions. It was a relief to see the point when every error was found at least by two independent parties, suggesting that all was in order. The "final" galleys were returned to Nature Genetics and were a turbulent sea of yellow-highlighted adjustments.

I'll also pat myself on the back for at least a few sleepless nights near the end where my desire to see this complete gave me intense focus and drive. I wanted it done, flawlessly.

While it is beautiful to see it in print, it is more a testament to the thousands of person-hours on conference calls, Vlad and Richard's vision and persuasion in the beginning, a mega-talented team, generous funding from non-traditional sources and an expert, supportive editorial job at Nature Genetics, among many things of course.

Most of all I gained a new respect for people I already admired. It was a joy to work on a common project, but also to endure the ups and downs together. And I apologize to those that were not acknowledged here. Add a note in the comments if you would please.

It was quite a journey, and a journey only to the beginning. Now the real fun begins...

Handicapped Cart Corral

2010-12-05T17:23:00.005-05:00

Someday I will go to prison for smacking someone over this one.

If you want to rub my rhubarb the wrong way then get your shopping done, unload your groceries into your Hummer, then shove the cart into the handicapped space. Every single time I go to the store I see it. Some slovenly couch potato gets enough workout from pushing a cart full of chips and Little Debbies around the store to the point where the final exodus to the parking lot is just too much. They unload their future butt and gut molecules into their vehicle and then waddle the short stroll to the handicapped spot. Heck, that store is another 30 feet of effort, who cares if they impair the already impaired?

It is funny that they don't mind obstructing the special space they probably will eventually need themselves someday. When they don't have room to unload their Lil Rascal because some inconsiderate loser left a cart in the spot, there will be hell to pay!! Of course, most of today's most inconsiderate consumers do not operate with such visionary time lines.

Ironically it is usually two kinds of people that do this. 1. The grey-longhaired ex-hippy woman in her Subaru with the "Coexist" bumper sticker and 2. The 30-something guy in the NASCAR jacket driving the pickup truck with the "Bush-Cheney 2000" sticker and crucifix on his rear-view mirror.

This is on my things to fix in 2011. I need a super hero costume. Someone has to step it up for those that can't step.

Repairing the Speed Sensor on the Eppendorf 5580R

2010-11-28T07:08:00.004-05:00

As an academic scientist we engage an endless battle to find funds to advance science, educate students, and train the next generation of elite scientists. Dollars are hard to find and tough to keep. One of the reasons is that the repair of lab equipment is insanely expensive, yet replacement is usually out of the question.

I do all of my own repairs, with some exceptions. One piece I know inside and out is the Eppendorf 5810R, the workhorse of refrigerated centrifuges. I posted a note here about a year ago on how to replace the motors and temperature sensors. Since then, I receive a note about once every month on another aspect of centrifuge repair. I recently talked someone through a quick fix and figured it was worth posting to help someone else.

A few weeks ago I received an inquiry from a researcher that needed a centrifuge repair. The model was the familiar Eppendorf 5810R, the mainstay of the research community, yet the piece of lab equipment with remarkably little information available.

I was able to direct him through the repair, saving his lab $800. I figured I'd post a little about it here so I could maybe save you a few bucks too! Clearly if you found this blog post you must be searching for this information.

The speed sensor used to be a little wafer about 3 cm by 1 cm that was mounted into a plastic collar around the top of the motor, beneath the rotor. If you undid the three screws you could lift out the plate and then detach the speed sensor. It is the thing with the wires on it.

The new models, and replacements, just have the speed sensor built into the collar. The repair is relatively simple and I think you can do it without dropping the motor. It is helpful to stand it on its back side, but it is heavy, so be careful and make sure it is stable in the upright position. Remember to leave the lid open and to unscrew the plastic collar first!

You can remove the front panel with two screws hidden under the white screw covers. These come out easily and the panel comes off with slight encouragement. You can follow the wires from the sensor to where they connect with the main control board. It is a simple plastic clip that just pops off if you give it a slight pull.

Thread the new speed sensor wires through the rubber boot above the motor (feeding them from the top down) and then gently pull the wire to the control board and attach it. Replace the panels, screw down the collar with the three screws, then set the centrifuge down in its natural position for overnight (to let the refrigerants return to their normal position).

Yay! You just saved $800! It takes all of 10 minutes and is remarkably simple. Keep sticking it to the Science Man!

Santa Claustrophobia

2010-11-26T11:31:00.011-05:00

It is Black Friday, and this morning I found myself in a place I swore I would never be- among the huddled masses in the parking lot of a Target store at 3:30 AM.

With pockets full of overextended credit, shoppers partake

in a unifying national ritual.

The only thing I hate more than shopping is crowds, so this event was particularly sour. I only went because my niece and nephew hoped to cash in on cheap crap, so they lined up last night around 6pm. In a show of solidarity I decided to show up and provide transportation support for the stuff they sought to procure.

But the greatest gift was the sight I beheld, a line of humanity stretching around the back of the store. The parking lot was full of people, people that likely have never experienced the hours before noon. But they all have one common goal-- consumption of crap they don't really need or probably really don't want, but have been told that they must have.

What is it about the Friday after Thanksgiving that makes everyone coalesce around retail? The answer-- it is the one thing Americans can agree upon. Even the poorest amongst us are rabid consumers. The middle class over-consume on overextended credit and the wealthy remind us of their riches via conspicuous consumption. Blue States, Red States, rich dude, poor dude, they all want stuff. Buying stuff unites us, as all economic strata are keeping pace with their own hypothetical Joneses.

The mall is the meeting place of the modern American community. It is the place of worship of material crap; a place we can shun acknowledgement of each other and the planet. Our quest for possessions blinds us to their cost in human capital, the jobs we lost here because of our thirst for cheaper, faster technology. We drain dwindling natural resources and make more junk to package and eventually discard when it is uncool in two years.

The sad part is that Black Friday at Target was not a happy celebration. The parking lot was packed with rude drivers, people offering $20 to cut into line, and angry shoppers that could not get what they wanted. One woman was mad because she prayed that something would be available, only to get a big zero. Maybe her god has stars to implode and miracles to perform, and might not give a shit about her 10% off George Foreman grill.

At least it was 60°F here, so the climate was reasonable. Imagine the poor dorks sitting outside of WalMart in Fargo. Of course, these are the same people that don't mind sitting for days waiting for Star Wars movie tickets or a Star Trek convention. I'm also not going out on a limb to suggest that most find of these folks find sitting idle for a day with no real mission remarkably familiar.

Inside the store (I hear, I never went in) the lines were endless and patrons with carts loaded with stuff complained about the wait, one guy screaming that it was illegal. Sheesh.

Somehow I thought that we'd turned a corner as a nation and were retreating to times of austerity. You'd never know it by the melee in the Target parking lot.

I don't mean to kick off the holiday season by being a curmudgeon, but Black Friday is just a microcosm of everything that is wrong with the holiday season, our priorities as a people and our trajectory as a nation. As long as we focus on the stuff, we forget about what is really important.

Four Loko = For Me!

2010-11-19T21:00:00.007-05:00

I've been extremely sick for the last week and enjoyed lots of television news. One story was the discontinuation of Four Loko, an adult beverage-- described as an "energy drink". By energy drink they mean it contains caffeine, not energy per se, just the illusion of energy.

What could possibly be wrong? The magical adult beverage industry finally has catered to those that don't want to just have a buzz, but want a buzz while being wide awake. That's a good thing.

I've known this for some time. Back in my days of youthful indiscretion, I'd always start a cocktail marathon with a cup of coffee. You can't stay up all night drinking if you can't stay up all night. The masterminds at Four Loko stumbled into my theory, and apparently their product could have tremendous purchase with the scientist and scholar. They just marketed it all wrong by appealing to the hip-hop enthusiast.

Then I hear that it is discontinued-- starting this week! This is like waiting my entire life for my jet pack only to find out that they made it, I didn't hear about it, then they discontinued making them because a bunch of dumb frat guys in Washington State crashed one.

I called all of my Tea Party friends and asked them to protest this government intervention in our personal lives, but they were drawing Hitler Moustaches and an "N" on a crate of "Obama" mugs. No time to help me fight my crusade against The Man.

So tonight I drove to "Liquor World 's" (sic) and Priya and Dipak sold me the rest of their stash. It was not really stash because it was out in plain sight, but it makes for a cooler story.

If you blur your eyes and read the label it kinda says "Folta"

I brought it home, cracked the watermelon flavor and enjoyed. Sort of. I enjoyed the idea of enjoying the forbidden beverage, but I didn't enjoy it much as a beverage. It tasted like someone mixed bottom shelf vodka with sugar and Jolly Ranchers.

The author hefts a tumbler of the forbidden beverage.

But as bad as it is, it will only find a drain after running through me. It is a pleasure to take part in a social phenomenon, have a cocktail from the gutter, and condemn myself to a restless night punctuated by night sweats and evil clown dreams.

What is it? Not What it is Not.

2010-11-18T09:06:00.000-05:00

Today I used non-dairy creamer. I do this almost every day. Dairy stuff incites digestive rebellion, so I opt to the equivalents.

But are they?

I'm a label reader. I know what is in the food I buy and I avoid buying food full of chemicals and crap.

But I never read the label on non-dairy creamer, outside of the fact that it is non-dairy creamer. This tells me very little about what it is. In fact, it only eliminates a small fraction of foodstuffs from what it isn't. I know it is not of dairy origin. That's it, leaving open a spectrum of potential other sources for its synthesis.

At this point I will not read the label. It is one aspect of my life I will leave a mystery.

John Tyner: Big Baby on Board

2010-11-17T08:10:00.010-05:00

In a society we have rules. Some we like, some we don't, but they are the rules. The rules are made by the people we elect, or at least some substantial portion of us elect. We have to play by these rules. If you don't like the rules you can work to change them, but do so through appropriate channels. This is how adults do it.

Enter John Tyner, the guy that threatened to have a TSA agent arrested if he "touched his junk". John apparently could use some junk touching, as such a reaction to the TSA pat-down seems a bit extreme. It might even be a bit perverted that he'd be aroused by, or even sexualize the situation, as an airport security line is one of the creepiest places on earth.

The problem comes from the minds of the perverted that interpret a minimal frisking as a sexual act.

His protests have a simple remedy- don't fly. Flying sucks. I have to do it 30 times a year and it is always a drag. It is a necessary evil and having a minimum wage agent tweak my hangdown with the back of their hand is the least of my worries. Personally, I find being wedged into a seat between a husband, wife and three kids ripping off pieces of a greasy chicken they brought on board wrapped in aluminum foil during a five hour flight from Charlotte to San Diego to be much more disturbing. Yes, that happened.

I'm sure the TSA agents are not getting jollies out of it either.

One interpretation I haven't heard. Did TSA actually stop a terror attack by Mr. Tyner? His insistence of a metal detector and no touching near the crotch signals to me that he possibly had something to hide- explosives, maybe a ceramic knife, hidden in his upper thigh.

His reaction was perhaps not one of privacy, but one of evasion.

Remember folks, you all asked for the Department of Homeland Security, airport screenings and tighter security. Only a few of us screamed no when it was all going down, myself included. I'll take my chances. I'd rather live strong and die free than endure the endless hassles of an increasingly Orwellian society hooked on the facade of safety, but that's just me. The public (including the Tea Party people who were remarkably silent) overwhelmingly supported creation of another costly and invasive government arm that would challenge the edge of personal privacy.

You asked for it, you got it. Now you are whining.

The Turd Whisperer

2010-11-03T08:08:00.001-04:00

There are two facets of home improvement/adjustment that I leave to the pros- roofs and sewers. The former because a bad job leads to collateral damage and the latter because I don't like dealing with dookie. However, slow drains, delayed flushes and a funny smell outside prompted me to explore the exciting world of sewage lift pump replacement.

I write this entry not to be gross or to somehow look for a pat on the back. Instead, I found the web resources for do-it-yourself sewage lift pump replacement to be relatively thin. Hopefully this can inspire someone else to take on this rather simple task. It is simple if you have a fundamental understanding of electrical, plumbing and water flow.

I have a sewage lift pump (or ejector pump) in my front yard, confined in a basin that is about 6 feet deep. Wastewater from the home drains into this basin where it sits until it reaches a certain level. A float switch triggers a pump to drive the wastewater to the municipal sewer. These are common when your home sewer is below the grade of the street sewer lines.

I knew there was a problem a few weeks ago when we had a guest at the house. He used a little more water than we usually do and it made a problem apparent. Flushes were slow and there was a weird smell outside. The ground around the basin was wet. Apparently what was happening was the water was flowing into the basin and not being pumped out, causing it to seem from around the top of the basin cover. In retrospect there were other symptoms. All bathrooms has a slight sewer smell. Also, it has not rained in Gainesville in a month, so all of my landscaping plants were dead or stressed, except for those around the basin. The rich phosphate and nitrogen supplement kept them green and happy.

I called for a few quotes, all of them ranging between $800 and $1200. Sure it would suck to be up to my elbows in my own effluvia, but $900 buys a lot of beer and I could probably chemically erase the trauma that I would incur from an adventure in home improvement. Plus, the sewer was a black box to me. It bothered me that I didn't know how it worked. I was driving and heard the KISS song Deuce, and if that was not a message for me to take on this job I don't know what would be. I put on my waders and went in for the kill.

How to solve the problem? The pump is triggered by a switch in a float. This float switch plugs into the standard household outlet and then the pump is plugged into that plug- piggyback. The first plug gates current to the pump. So I figured, if the pump is good, but the switch is bad, then maybe I can at least clear the goodies inside the basin to make the job less awful.

And it worked. Plugging the pump in directly led to quick evacuation of the basin. I allowed it to fill with water from showers, dishwashers and laundry, along with other stuff. I'd purge it manually to empty it. I cycled it through a few times to decrappify the system.

De-installation was simple. A cut on the 2" PVC pipe with a sawsall liberated the previous mechanism. It should be noted that the pump has a check valve that keeps the sewage from flowing backwards, so when you cut that pipe there will be flow- and it ain't purdy. A good installation might include a union upstream of the check valve. This one had one, but I opted not to use it and just replace the entire run just to put in new stuff. After that, the pump lifts out- and it stinks.

Once on shore you can fashion the new plumbing to directly match the dimensions of the old- like on the photo below. I replaced my pump with a Wayne CSE50T- a complete beast that I bought at Northern Tool for $229. It has a great warranty and is built like a tank compared to Home Depot or Lowe's models that gave less power for the same price. Plus it is over-spec'd for the job by a lot. It weighs 55 lbs, so not for someone that cannot handle a heavy item. Remember it has to be lowered 6 feet gently into sewer water. Splashes are potentially hazardous waste.

Out with the old and in with the new- changing a sewer pump is a great way to spend a Sunday. The new pump (left) stands poised to handle another decade of human grime.

I sanded the cut sewer pipe and primed it. All of the PVC joints were prepped and assembled after a dry fitting and verification of measurement. After the assembly was correct, I lowered it into the basin with a heavy rope, followed by connection to power. Now I just had to make about 100 gallons of waste water and I'd get to see it run.

I filled it with a hose and about an hour later the float tripped the power and the pump ejected the water to the sewer like a pro. Silent, deadly and hungry, the pump worked flawlessly and the new plumbing held true.

The moral of the story? Sometimes it is good to take on a job you don't want to do. You can learn a lot and save a few bucks.

On the Air in Alaska

2010-11-01T08:20:00.000-04:00

I'll be discussing GMO food on Line One- Your Health Connection with Dr. Thad Woodward on KSKA in Anchorage, Alaska. The website has details for listening over the web. I will be taking live questions too.

Gainesville Cycling Club Century

2010-10-24T22:10:00.001-04:00

Okay, so the first thing to clear up is that I have not attempted a century (100 mile bicycle ride) in a long time, 1985 to be exact. Since then I did some long time trials where I rode 12 hours straight, but not a 100 mile ride. Two years ago I did a metric century (100 km; 62.5 miles) here in Gainesville and always wanted to do the big one again.

It is an old story. Back in junior high and high school we rode our bikes everywhere. Before long we were logging massive rides and participating in organized events. More on this another time when I can scan some funny pictures.

My bike back then was a 1977 Raleigh Competition GS, a great bike for the time. I rode so many miles on the damn thing that I never wanted to get rid of it. It had some problems. The rims were no longer circular and vibrated when I rode it. Back then I didn't have the dollars to replace them, and they were much more expensive than they are these days. This year I put on new rims and wheels and this thing rolls- and rolls fast. With 200 pounds of person aboard this thing accelerates down hills. Sweet.

Me and a 1977 Raleigh Competition GS

The ride was great in the beginning. The air was cool and I rode in stride with a local cycling club. Everything was firing on all cylinders, until 50 miles when it became hot, hilly and windy. I really struggled through the last chunk of the ride and was so glad to be done.

To ride that bike brought back a lot of memories, including some hard ones. I was choked up more than once when I thought of my friend James Frale. James was my bike riding partner with Michael Taylor and Dave Wren in Downers Grove, IL. One Sunday when Mike, Dave and I rode a century, James stayed home to do yard work. He died that day in a freak accident. I wish he would have been with us. He still might be today if that was the case.

Natural News. Shame On You.

2010-10-06T07:38:00.001-04:00

Natural News is a website devoted to, well, insanity. While appearing to be folksy yet alternative, they give the worst possible medical advice (cure any cancer for $5.15 a day) and promote a non-scientific point of view, invoking every logical fallacy possible. They draw conclusions that can't be supported and promote the most un-critical thinking I've ever seen.

I read a recent post and now I"m mad. The post "Bill Gates Says Vaccines Can Reduce World Populations" is a lie right off the top. In a recent TED talk Bill Gates said:

"The world today has 6.8 billion people... that's headed up to about 9 billion. Now if we do a really great job on new vaccines, health care, reproductive health services, we could lower that by perhaps 10 or 15 percent."

Of course what Gates is saying is that population is an issue, especially in the developing world, and that steps need to be taken to ensure the health of people there. If families believe that their children will survive, they will stop having huge families. Vaccines ensure that they will be healthy and reproductive counseling will help with family planning.

Natural News author Mike Adams sees this a different way. Clearly the plan is to use vaccines to drive the population down. According to Adams, vaccines will be implemented to kill people slowly by inducing degenerative disease, reducing fertility (or he means fecundity) while causing miscarriages, or sensitizing a population to pandemic viruses. To Adams, vaccines are deadly poisons that are now being aimed at reducing populations.

Shame on Adams. Not only is his propaganda dangerous, it makes an implicit accusation that Gates is interested in genocide. The Gates foundation is currently engaged in an expensive and almost impossible feat of eliminating polio using vaccines, much like how smallpox was eliminated. They are traveling to remote areas, knocking on doors one by one, and administering vaccines to stop this disease where it still flourishes. Seems like that approach worked pretty well here. Not many people walking around with polio.

Adams sees this as part of that genocidal plan. Clearly eliminating polio is not Gates' plan, but rather it is to cause degenerative disease, reduce fertility, cause abortions and increase sensitivity to disease.

Of course Adams does not say that "health care" is part of Gates' plan for world domination and genocide in developing countries. That would make him look like a fool. Yet vaccines are singled out in that sentence in classic distortion of Gates' real intent.

Shame on Natural News. The Gates Foundation is doing enormous good for developing countries, much more than the Natural News does. To attack the motivations of the people that are driving and bankrolling these unprecedented efforts is truly shameful.

WTF... M or F?

2010-10-04T21:55:00.003-04:00

I find the choice of an androgyous model rather curious...

I'm Dying to Know What Happened!

2010-09-08T05:37:00.000-04:00

The Pen is Mightier than the, Corkscrew.

2010-09-06T06:38:00.005-04:00

I walked through the metal detector without a buzz. As I gathered my belongings downstream of an airport security checkpoint in the Lisbon Airport, an officer grabbed my carry-on and took it aside. Turns out that I was identified as a potential terrorist, a terrorist wielding the tool of destruction known as the corkscrew.

I like to carry a corkscrew because you never know when you'll encounter a bottle of wine without a screw cap. In my travels a screw cap or box of wine is just fine, but such delivery methods are shunned in Europe where wine is a bit more prized (even though you can buy a good bottle [like I'd know one if I drank it] in a grocery store for €1.5). I like to be able to open it without just picking the cork out with a pen.

So they confiscate my corkscrew. It was not even one of those cool twisty ones with the arms. It was a run-of-the-mill metal curly cue with a handle. Fine. Now I have to make another trip to the dollar store.

If I was going to start trouble on a plane, I would not use the corkscrew. It would take time to actually screw it into someone to inflict even minor damage, and I don't see it as being a tremendously useful implement of ill will.

Instead, I'd opt for one of the three hundred pens that I routinely carry. Their sharp point can be driven through the heart of your target with a simple push, and you can hit the brain pretty easily through the ears or eyeballs. When plunged into the side of the neck or through the trachea the victim will be at least temporarily incapacitated if not completely disabled. Not that I'm going to do that, but it is kind that security leaves me something in the event the plane is commandeered and diverted toward a skyscraper.

It is fashionable to rant about airport security, and this is a minor concern, but it illuminates the problem precisely. We spend billions of dollars to put on a facade of security. They take our nail clippers and corkscrews, but allow on knitting needles and pens, objects I'd argue are remarkably more weaponizable.

Can someone make a plastic corkscrew I can carry through security in my pocket with my ceramic carving knife?

Writing for Biofortified

2010-09-04T05:55:00.000-04:00

Whew, that trip to Lisbon was a rough one. The place was fantastic, the conference wonderful and the opportunity to see great science from my science friends was truly special. Of course, it cut into blog time.

Nonetheless, I was able to do some writing, but it fit better under my recent activities in biotechnology education. My posts on this area can be found at www.biofortified.org.

A Travel Tip

2010-08-28T21:14:00.000-04:00

If you ever find yourself traveling and using the hotel's provided soap, shampoo and conditioner, always make sure that the conditioner is conditioner and not hand moisturizer. After a week of using hand cream as hair product you look like you could star in a local production of Grease.

I hear.

86 Swayze

2010-08-25T04:16:00.000-04:00

Like Hasslehoff is to Germany, Patrick Swayze is to Portugal. In fact, I don't know that anyone has let them know that he's room temperature. Here a much more vital and svelt Swayze graces an advertisement seen throughout Lisbon.

I'm not daring enough to say anything and wreck it. Let's just keep his demise our national secret.

GMO Food, Harm, and Intellectual Bankruptcy

2010-08-19T19:32:00.000-04:00

I'm a huge fan of Skepchick, the blog that promotes skepticism from a female point of view. With a generally science-savvy readership, Skepchick is a fun place to read about critical thinking, science and the insults to it.

Last week Surly Amy posted a pro-GMO note that didn't sit well with the readership. It is the classic case. Science applies to climate change, stem cells, evolution, vaccination, etc, but as soon as it starts debunking arguments about genetically modified food, well then that's another story.

It follows the same old line. There's a conspiracy between Monsanto and scientists to get rich off of GMOs, despite their health risks! A lot like vaccines I guess. Just substitute Novartis for Monsanto, doctors for scientists, and vaccines for GMOs and you see the pattern.

One commenter (crocoduck) posted, "There is plenty of evidence that GMO’s are harmful to human health. For example, Soy allergies jumped 50% in the U.K. just after GM soy was introduced. Another study verified that GM soybeans contain an IgE-binding allergenic protein not found in nonGM soy controls, and that one of eight subjects who showed a skin-prick allergic reaction to GM soy had no reaction to nonGM soy.

These are just a couple examples of the evidence…. much more can be found here

http://www.globalresearch.ca/index.php?context=va&aid=7277 "

When you actually go to this website there is a well-referenced anti-GMO rant that would convince any lay reader. If you actually visit the references you find that they don't say anything like what they are alleged to report.

The first line says, "Soy allergies jumped 50% in the U.K. just after GM soy was introduced.2 If GM soy was the cause, it may be due to several things. The GM protein that makes Roundup Ready Soy resistant to the herbicide does not have a history of safe use in humans and may be an allergen. In fact, sections of its amino acid sequence are identical to known allergens.3"

Let’ s start with the Kleter & Peijnenburg study that was cited (number 3 referred to, the one where GE contains IgE binding proteins associated with allergy). This was a computer modeling study published in BMC Structural Biology. The authors used a computer program to PREDICT that there may be epitopes that could potentially be allergenic. Nothing was ever tested, no allergies were ever seen. They state very clearly in the conclusion of the abstract the positive outcomes of this approach warrant further clinical testing for potential allergenicity”. To my investigation such studies were not done or they produced results that did not indicate allergenicity. This study was almost a dead end.

The website ignores the 2003 paper from the same authors (Plant Biotechnol J. 2003 Sep;1(5):371-80) where they identified the same phenomenon in conventional crops. Since they were mostly tearing up GE, evidence that showed the same problem in conventional or organic farming might not be good to present. After all, they know what they think they want to tell us, science schmience.

The article starts with the statistic that allergies “jumped 50%” after GM soy was introduced in England. This was hardly a scientific study. It was a note by Townsend in an un-reviewed article entitled “Why soya is a hidden destroyer” in a newspaper called Daily Express (Mar 12, 1999). Today’s Daily Express was concerned with the demolition of Ringo Starr’s boyhood home, so maybe not a high-hitting source for science.

Plus in 11 years GE soy is 95% of US acreage and it cannot be directly linked to any specific problem in humans or animals that consume it.

The website goes on to cite Pusztai’s long-discredited work and a laundry list of articles that have either been shown to have no credibility or are misinterpreted (as the first one I mentioned). The website is just like the anti-vax ones that show the great evidence of Wakefield and all the rest.

Selective reading, selective omission and selective interpretation are all hallmarks of the antiscience of climate change denial, the anti-vaccination movement, and many other disciplines that take non-scientific routes to criticize science. I was surprised how much of this happens on a website known for extreme prowess in critical thinking.

Mosque, Ground Zero, and a Nation of Idiots

2010-08-15T17:11:00.003-04:00

To those opposed to the building of a mosque near the site of the 9-11 attacks, I only have one thing to say.

Be very careful about asking the government to intervene and stop the building of a house of worship.

You might not like Muslims, Jews or whatever. Too bad. These are Americans. These are people that have the exact same rights as you do. If you want to build a shrine to your god or gods near ground zero, then by all means go do it.

The moment that angry mobs control who can erect a holy building is the moment that anyone with religious convictions should get nervous. One of these days your sacred ideals will be on the chopping block. If you are like most church-goers you'll be screaming and whining then!

Religious freedom is something very sacred and something very important in our Constitution. I forget sometimes that people today don't understand that Constitution, nor do they really know what freedom is. The basic tenets of our society are not nearly as interesting as heads screaming at each other on Fox News, but luckily for us, that's the framework we have.

A solution would be to ban all holy buildings from within 10 miles of the site. In my mind it was adherence to radical religious dogma that brought down the towers and maybe therein lies a solution.

WTF? This is Science?

2010-08-14T06:59:00.001-04:00

As a scientist that has to wrangle with editors and reviewers to see his lab's work find publication, the fact that absolute garbage like this can be published is an absolute slap in the face with a big wet peer review fist.

The article by Hon et al is published in Virology Journal, a journal with an impact of 2.44. The journal is also a member of the BMC family of journals, an up-and-coming series of scholarly texts driven by open access, that is, available free over the web.

The article is entitled Influenza or not influenza: Analysis of a case of high fever that happened 2000 years ago in Biblical time. Aside from the fact that there seems to be a missing question mark, the whole title presents the reader with an interesting concept- that the authors have developed an evidence-based dissection of an ancient event that can support a post-hoc diagnosis. At first I thought this was going to be pretty cool, and I prepared for the stream of data that would support their point.

To the contrary, there was none. All the authors did was refer to Simon Peter's mother-in-law and her high fever that went away "when Jesus lifted her up". Apparently three stories in the new testament recall a similar story.

The authors note that because it was simply fever that it was probably an acute infection or inflammation, and not a bacterial disease (like endocardosis) because it left when Jesus touched her. I guess it is a bummer that magic can cure some diseases, but the authors believe the same magic won't work on other disorders. They also ruled out autoimmune disorders. What basis for this there is I do not know, there than "there was no rash mentioned". When healed, she got up and started being a waitress. Must be flu.

Then the author team posits on what type of flu it must be. They rule out SARS and seasonal influenza, discount avian flu and poisoning (this is like that 80's TV show Quincy, only the sole evidence is text in a book that has been written and re-written a dozen times).

Because none of the modern etiologies fit the case, the authors suggest that it must have been some sort of demon or devil. The study then concludes that it was truly an early description of influenza.

Shame on Kam LE Hon, Pak C Ng, and Ting F Leung. In trying to bust them on a possible joke, I re-arranged the letters to only find that there is no cohesive hidden message. If this is an example of scholarship it shows that these authors, the editors, the reviewers and the journal are not doing their job.

Why do I care? Because pseudoscientific forces want their work in press. The creationists could easily apply the same level of rigor and analysis to get evidence for creation published in real journals (not the fake ones that they produce) after all, the bible was the central evidence for the Virology Journal paper.

Publication is getting harder and harder for most of us. Reviewers and editors want more and more when our resources become fewer and fewer. This type of publication is a threat to science, as it lowers the threshold of rigorous and reproducible scientific research that separates the real from the imaginary.

Climate Conspiracy, Part II

2010-08-13T08:15:00.003-04:00

Today's blog follows up on the Climate Conspiracy blog posted last week. It was based on two conversations I had with a clear climate denialist. The first entry details a discussion where the other party has direct evidence of bias in funding for climate research... that is, until I call him on it.

Today I'll provide another example. It is interesting to note the climate denialists follow the same exact scheme as those that deny evolution or the safety of GMO food. There always is a conspiracy, chocked full of secrets. There are threats and intimidation, nameless figures and warped senses of victimization.

This is the second part of my discussion with James McGaha. Again, we had a very nice conversation where I did a lot more listening than talking. It was a private conversation, he had no idea that I'd write here about it (neither did I), but it is a good case for understanding science denialism.

During the conversation he told me that he knew someone, that must remain nameless, that has concrete evidence that will "blow the lid off of the global warming nonsense". This alleged figure is a scientist and has this data, data that will contradict the findings of thousands of independent laboratories worldwide, upending data generated over the last three decades.

"Why doesn't he publish it, say in Science or Nature", I said. Certainly concrete evidence that refutes a well established scientific consensus would be publishable in the best journals.

McGaha claimed that he would publish it, but is afraid of the intimidation that will come to him if he published work that does not agree with the scientific consensus.

Of course I vehemently disagreed, as top-tier journals are where you place the best data that overturn accepted paradigms. I then had a stellar idea.

"Ask him to write up his data into a paper for Science, then send it to me. I'll submit it with my name on it," I said. "I'm a scientist, I can submit that work, then I'll deal with the intimidation (said with mocking sarcasm)."

It was the perfect plan. If this scientist has the data and is just afraid, then give it to a scientist that isn't. Then when I show up in a shallow grave with a jumbo thermometer up my heiney and a Gore-Lieberman sticker across my forehead, then they can show the world how evil the conspiracy is. If his conclusive work gets published, then he has accomplished the mission, we change the name on the report from mine to his, and he gets a Nobel Prize, or at the very least a lifetime of interviews on Fox News

Of course, my offer fell on deaf ears, probably because there is no shadowy scientist and equally vacant solid data.

It is a lot like those that cry foul in discussions of evolution. There always are some alleged scientists that are not allowed to publish their data that prove creation or that the earth is 6000 years old. They are afraid of intimidation or losing status or their job. They claim a great conspiracy to suppress the real data.

In the end, there's science and there's non-science. If we have real data, we publish it. Real data stand up to scrutiny and are reproducible. Real data always win. That's why every nut living in denial of real science has to resort to the conspiracy and intimidation story, because as long as the real data are suppressed and hidden, then they don't have to ever be tested, reproduced or independently verified.

So that was my conversation with a science denialist. We concluded by me saying, "Science is a put-up-or-shut-up business. If you have the data, show the data, confirm and retest the data, and change the way we think.... that is the way science works."

Tonight on Skeptically Speaking- GMO Technology

2010-08-06T08:49:00.000-04:00

Tonight I will discuss plant biotechnology and food production on the Skeptically Speaking show, a show that is streaming live on the internet at www.skepticallyspeaking.com. It is an audience call-in show, so it should be very interesting.

The Climate Conspiracy

2010-08-04T22:13:00.002-04:00

A panel convened at The Amazing Meeting 8 (TAM8) to discuss the skeptical coverage of climate change.

Panelist James McGaha made a number of statements that I really disagreed with. He's a self described climate skeptic, as any good scientist should be, only he demonstrates his patent ignorance toward the scientific method and the critical consideration of evidence.

During his time on a panel, clearly as a representative of the camp that anthropogenic global warming (AGW) is a figment of the imagination and a liberal conspiracy, he espoused several positions that demonstrated his clear departure from the scientific method.

Multiple times he stated, "Science is wrong". He framed this in several ways, all of which will be more comprehensively disclosed once the TAM8 videos become available.

Science is not wrong. Science is a tool to answer questions in an objective and powerful way. Science is not wrong. Science just disagrees with his non-scientific conclusions, so it must be faulty.

He also claimed that federal funding agencies do not fund or publish work that is contrary to the status quo on AGW. He said that legitimate work that contradicts AGW is unpublished.

After his talk I stood in line to talk to him. I asked specifics, especially about the funding for those that have data supporting a non-AGW position. He told me that is was the NSF, JPL and NASA. I could not disagree more, as NSF especially prefers to fund quality work that expands our understanding. The work that runs counter to the consensus is considered very favorably.

I sent him an email last week and asked for a few minutes of his time. He graciously agreed to call me.

He called and the first thing he asked was, "Are you a believer in AGW or a skeptic".

My answer was that I accept the scientific consensus and I am a skeptic. We were off to a unproductive start.

I mostly listened for 45 minutes. He told me that the NSF was a major dupe of the AGW system, funding only work that agreed with the consensus on AGW. I told him that I was interlaced reasonably well with NSF and would like to know which funding initiatives were showing such bias. I told him that I could investigate this with the Program Managers (the people that make decisions and ultimately write the checks) from the appropriate sub-disciplines at NSF. I was going to be in Arlington at NSF headquarters, so it would be easy to knock on some doors.

He then says, "Well it was not NSF as much as JPL and NASA". The story changes.

... more in the next blog. It gets weirder, but more backpedaling.

The Good Ol' Days of Shame

2010-08-01T19:18:00.000-04:00

Remember the time when the irresponsible, ignorant or useless-yet-self-important among us were shunned? Not anymore!

Accomplishments and development of talent take a lot longer than they used to. We're raised the bar to the point where your work is not recognized unless you spend years of dedication and commitment. Financial success used to take a nose to the grindstone, conservative spending and careful planning.

In the late 1990's immediate gratification became the norm, and it became unreasonable for expertise and its residues to be earned over years of hard work. This ushered in the age of the Paris Hiltons and others that saw fame and recognition as a right, and we bought it hook line and sinker.

Today it has ascended to new lows. The medium of voyeuristic television provides an inroads toward recognition of the chronically uncleansed. Here people with no marketable skills or talents gather in front of cameras with the hope of enticing the American viewing public that they have value. How else can you explain Snooki?

What is worse is on television there are commercials that exhibit delinquent tax or credit card users. They are excited to proclaim that they used to owe a lot of money but somehow finked out an paid a lot less. Like this is a good thing!

I come from a lost time, a time when your word was your bond and you either met your obligations or dealt with the consequences. Nowadays it is common (and profitable) to run up debt and simply claim bankruptcy to hide from the responsibility of doing what it right.

Where is the shame? Remember when we'd feel guilty for not meeting our obligations? Remember when we were embarrassed to not know the answer or appeared unprepared? Can we bring back the idea that everyone is accountable and responsible? Can we make it fashionable again to make them wear the scarlet letters of their crimes or ignorance rather than celebrate it?

A Hike Down the Kurdistan Trail... WTF?

2010-07-31T12:51:00.000-04:00

I've wanted to blog about this for a long time, but was hesitant because I didn't want to come off sounding like a heartless jerk. Sarah Shround, Shane Bauer and Josh Fattal are the three Americans that are being held captive as spies by Iran. They were detained by Iranian officials after going for a hike in Iraq and allegedly crossing into Iranian territory.

It pains me to write that sentence. I've been known to exercise some poor judgment, oftentimes with consequences, but this one takes the cake.

The three were living in Damascus, Syria. One a freelance journalist, one an English teacher and the other a one a teaching assistant on an international assignment, the three decided to go for a hike together in, well, Iraq. That's that place over there that we have been occupying militarily for the last eight years. Yes, that place. The place where the average Joe may be grateful for the downfall of Saddam Hussein and liberation of their country, but there still are a healthy dose of para-military types that are not too thrilled with the occupation- especially American occupation. Then they accidentally walk from a Iraq into Iran.

I guess if I'm planning to go to, say, Wisconsin, I'm reasonably sure where that border is. They must have missed the Welcome to Iran sign. Worse, this is the place where a woman is about to be stoned for adultery, and not the groovy kind of stoned. My guess is that international spies are not going to get stellar treatment if convicted.

My old Ph.D. advisor used to say measure twice, cut once. If hiking in potentially hostile areas, such as the borders of Iraq or South Korea, maybe it is best to have a really good idea where you actually are. Moreover, it may be good to just cancel the whole thing and stay home. My heart goes out to these families, but I really question the choices some people make.

National Service, Discounts, and Geezers Get Squat.

2010-07-26T14:54:00.001-04:00

Back when I was in college I bought a wall calendar for the next century. I'm a stickler for planning, and in the pre-internet time of 1987 a big pad of numbered squares was the best thing going.

I made one gigantic X on January 11, 2022. On that day I'd be 55 years old and on that day I'd get my free coffee at Arby's and free breakfast at Denny's. I'd get a discount on medical supplies and my oil change. Being thrifty, the senior discount is a hot perk of growing old.

Gazing at the senior discount from a distance makes me reconsider my need for it. My whole life I've made good decisions, planned carefully and hope to get old with some financial security. I don't think that I'll really need the senior discount. In fact, the seniors that are getting it today are probably the last to get (my) Social Security dollars and the great tax benefits of being alive in the early 2000's. They will be the last generation to actually retire. They will be the last generations with pensions. Why should they get a discount just for ticking days off of the calendar?

After reading Roxanne Porozinski's WTF? blog on supporting the troops and the paucity of military discounts in retail outlets, I'd like to expand on her point. To me, anyone in public service should get a discount in various areas and the old people should have it taken away. Here's my proposal:

Military- Anyone with military service should get a National Service Discount of 20% on everything and those that have seen active combat should get stuff at cost. I'd like to see free gas for everyone that served in the Persian Gulf campaigns going back to 1990. Basically, they put their butts on the line to make sure you'd have gas, so theirs should be free.

Teachers- School teachers do not get compensated correctly for the hard work they do and we need to incentivize the profession. It is not going to happen through more taxes or budget referrenda, so let's give them a break on the costs associated with living in a place where they get to shape our childrens' futures. Active teachers should get a National Service Discount of 50% on all essentials (groceries, clothes, etc) and should never pay property tax.

Professors- 'Nuff said. The folks that are advancing science, technology and arts in the public domain, making cutting edge discovery part of the national fabric and accessible away from corporate trappings. We're training the next generation of thinkers and don't see nearly the compensation of our industry equivalents, actually we're at about 50%. On top of that, most of us went to school for years longer than physicians to be qualified for the position, so that brings considerable debt that needs to be neutralized. If you gave professors a 50% National Service Discount on alcoholic beverages, coffee, firearms and medication it would be a substantial return and ensure continued performance in the public interest.

Other ideas? I'd sure like to hear them. We also can stop the tax breaks to churches (basically a business dealing in faith; dripping with extravagance in many cases) but that's a story for another day.

...and that's why I do academic science.

2010-07-25T17:05:00.000-04:00

Yesterday I met with a group of business-types in New York City. I traveled on their invitation to discuss a new business plan and some ways that I could help. They have extensive experience and a truly innovative concept that I find really exciting. I went to speak with them and share some ideas.

The question came up about my availability for on-site work, maybe as a permanent fixture. It sure would be interesting, I'd never have to write grants again, I'd get to work on an exciting problem with an innovative team. It is an attractive idea in many respects.

I walked from that meeting to meet a former student for lunch. She's in NYC working on installing rooftop gardens and doing really well. On the way to the meeting I thought about the possibility of moving to an exciting place and leaving behind the string of unfunded grants, persistent begging, nasty manuscript reviews and the endless meetings. The appeal was growing.

Then I met with Kayla, a former student. I didn't recognize her in the cafe until she stood up and yelled "Over here!" Turns out that she got all growed up and is doing well.

We talked and she reminded me of good times we had in lab and how I helped guide her to winning a poster contest at a national meeting. We talked about science, her training, and the experiments we did- along with things we might try in the future. She told me that I was an important mentor and greatly influential in her life.

Business plans are motivating and new projects exciting. Moving to a new tax bracket would be nice too.

But that 45 minute lunch with a former student, along with her kind remembrances and sweet comments, remind me exactly why I work in academic science.

Corpse Flower Opens; Bride Not Impressed.

2010-07-23T07:32:00.005-04:00

Lois, the Amorphophallus titanum in Houston, finally decided to open its spathe, the purple skirt that surrounds the spadix, the central structure of the inflorescence. At the same time Jessica Zabala is gearing up for her big wedding day. The favors better include a gas mask.

See, Jessica is a bride to be, getting married on Saturday in the Houston Museum of Natural Science. In an article in the Houston Chronicle, she doesn't seem too pleased about the possibility of stating her vows in the midst of the foul stench of death. I guess I understand, but is everyone making a crisis out of an opportunity?

If I were Jessica I'd be playing to the plant. Thousands of people have followed it on Twitter and on the web. The webcam is crushed with visitors. Jessica, this is the perfect wedding gift!

In the interest of turning lemons into lemonade, get a gas mask company to sponsor the event. Put respirators on the wedding party and religious official. Get Glade to donate thousands of air fresheners if they pick up the cost of your wedding. It will get national coverage, you'll look brilliant rather than bridezilla.

Unlike a wedding for a 23 year old, seeing an Amorphophallus titanum bloom is a once-in-a-lifetime event. Long after the roses have wilted, the cake is gone and the guests sobered up, the fact that she shares an important life milestone with family in the presence of one of nature's wonders will make the day most memorable. This is an amazing opportunity, and I hope she takes it.

Apathy on the Streets of NYC

2010-07-22T17:04:00.000-04:00

Yesterday I was in New York, Manhattan to be exact. I was walking from Rockefeller Center to 26th and 3rd Avenue to meet a former student for lunch.

I saw a series of people with clipboards in my first block. People were just walking right by. The first one says, "Have a moment for the crack babies?"

Sure, I have time for the crack babies. Who doesn't? All of the other NY a-holes that just pass by, that's who! After a few minutes of filling out a form and hearing the spiel, I move along about 10 yards when I see a guy with a clipboard. "Got a minute for gay rights?"

Everyone else just walks right by. Losers. Sure, I have time for gay rights. I hear the story, signed the form, then walked another ten yards before the next person. "Have a few minutes to stop the child sex trade?"

Everyone else walked by, obviously big fans of the child sex trade. Me on the other hand, had to stop and hear the pitch and sign the form.

The same pattern repeated the length of the block, consuming fifteen minutes and all of my good progress. I was going to be late for my appointment. Turns out that all of NYC's apparently most apathetic were not that way at all, but rather, they were sick of being harassed by people with clipboards!

Maybe if all of them were to ditch the clipboard and actually go directly intervene in their causes, they might get a little more progress for something truly important.

Voice Recognition, Diagnosing Autism, Too Much Too Soon?

2010-07-21T05:28:00.000-04:00

The "too much too soon" anti-vaccination campaign is a way to transition from a hard stance that claims vaccines cause autism, to a softer stance that it is just the ambitious vaccine schedule that is the problem. As science wins and the anti-vaxers have to back away from claims of thimerasol, aluminum and the other old scapegoats, attention is turned to the culprit of vaccination frequency. They say that is it the number of shots early in life that causes autism.

Well new technology from the University of Memphis is a big ol' wet blanket. Science wins again.

Researchers have analyzed the voice patterns in children, those developing normally and those with symptoms that fall on the autism spectrum. Their vocal patterns were analyzed based on empirical patterns of normal development. Researchers found that they can now accurately identify autism with 86% accuracy in children, long before symptoms present themselves.

The new methods of prediction and surveillance identify developmental problems far before other symptoms present, and also far before the majority of childhood vaccines are delivered. So much for "too much too soon".

As usual, science wins. Maybe this technology won't stop the anti-vaccination nuts, but it may help children be diagnosed earlier and maybe find better treatment and therapy.

Racial Profiling, Here, Now.

2010-07-19T12:13:00.000-04:00

Today's frequent discussions drift toward immigration and the stringent laws in Arizona. The thought is that expanding police power to inquire about one's immigration status should be reasonable, after all, if you are legal and have nothing to hide, why worry. At least that's what the law's proponents claim.

Unfortunately, the laws are already too lax. If you think it can't happen here, then you are wrong. Here in Gainesville Florida, either by the Alachua County Sheriff, Gainesville Police or University Police (I don't know which) a student in my department was harassed by police. She is African-American, visiting from another school. She had out of state license plates. The combination of another state of origin and pigment in her skin led some of our local police to assume that she must be up to no good.

She was pulled over because the police officer "thought he smelled marajuana". This woman has never stood within a city block of a controlled substance, does not use any drugs, never did. She's as straight and narrow as they come- a stellar citizen and an emerging scholar.

Several carloads of police went through her vehicle, brought in the K9 drug sniffers and held her on the side of the road while the search unfolded. She was detained and humiliated by the local law enforcement because they thought she was a drug dealer. Black skin + out-of-state plates + stereotypical limited thinking = drug dealer.

Of course they didn't find anything. Her mistake was allowing them to search the vehicle without firm probable cause. Even though she had nothing to hide, a crooked cop could have planted something or done something to make her appear guilty. If you don't think that happens ask me about it. It does.

The broader discussion is that police in Arizona can pull over any of us because they think we don't belong here. I don't carry proof of citizenship, nor do most of us. We can be pulled over because of our appearance. That is our crime.

The people that allow racial profiling usually are in a healthy majority and have never felt discrimination. Imagine if they shoe was on the other foot.

Worse, the aforementioned student's problem could deter others from coming here and adding to our programs. There could be long-term effects.

Simple answers never solve complex problems and they hurt those that are innocent. This is just another perfect example.

Truly an Amazing Meeting

2010-07-12T19:33:00.002-04:00

I'm in Charlotte airport with Roxanne traveling home from TAM8- The Amaz!ng Meeting in Las Vegas Nevada. While it sounds like an Amway convention, it instead is a wonderful concoction of expert speakers in modern science and skepticism. I'm a little biased because I had the extreme pleasure of presenting at this TAM, and consider it to be a personal and professional highlight.

I got to tell Richard Dawkins, "I still think

you were the best host of Family Feud"

The meeting featured outstanding talks, but my favorites were Michael Shermer, Bruce Hood, Pamela Gay, Phil Plait, and Brian Hart. All of these were truly illuminating. While these were my favorites, there was not a bad talk in the bunch.

Most of all, it was a conference amongst friends. I was impressed by the interaction and interest and the sense of camaraderie.

It will be my first of many TAMs. James Randi is a perfect gentleman that took time with everyone and was generous with his time and talent. It truly was an amazing meeting.

Big Carp in Stevens Point

2010-07-05T09:14:00.000-04:00

Starting back in 1990 or so my friend Chris Jennings and I have tried to fish the Carp Classic, a more-or-less non-competitive competition in Stevens Point, Wisconsin. It is mostly a fun way to have a tournament around the town's 4th of July festivities.

Of course, it puts us in uber-competitive fishing mode and we spend too much time and money thinking about it and preparing. This year we put the third victory in the record books, not for most fish, but for largest fish. This monster at 12.9 lb was a dwarf compared to pigs of years past, but still a good fish.

Me and Ol' Hose Lips on the Wisconsin River

Overall, another good fish and a great time. I caught this one on corn soaked in betaine. Maybe next year we'll have a shot at the raw tonnage category.

The Supernatural Fails- Again

2010-06-25T07:53:00.001-04:00

Last Sunday was designated as a "Day of Prayer for the Gulf" by the Louisiana Senate via unanimous resolution. The idea was that if everyone prayed away the oil spill that a miraculous intervention would occur and cap the problem. You can look at this in two ways.

First, if they really thought it would work, why didn't they do this on Day 1? Second, since it didn't work, why isn't anyone commenting on this? Certainly they are all over the Obama Administration for not being able to solve the problem. Can't they give equal criticism to the supernatural forces that elected to not listen to them?

Maybe god wants it to leak. Maybe god hates Louisiana, as first posited by Rev. Pat Robertson after Hurricane Katrina.

The part that bothers me is that the Louisiana Senate took taxpayer funded time to generate a resolution to call it a Day of Prayer. Do you think that the fishermen of the region were waiting for your go-ahead?

It is funny that it seems perfectly acceptable to conjure up a supernatural force to try to put the toothpaste back into the tube, but it is unreasonable for the same governing body to take actions that would limit this problem in the first place. Maybe there are gods that want our leaders to make the hard decisions, and then sit back and laugh when their greed, folly and shortsightedness bites them in the butt.

"Frankenfoods" Talk at TAM8

2010-06-22T18:56:00.000-04:00

I've delivered it in classrooms and schools, church basements and whole-foods co-ops. Now I get a shot at TAM8. The Amazing Meeting is a great venue for discussion of critical thinking of topics at the science-public interface. This year I submitted my materials for a guest speaker slot. I was amazed to find out that I was one of the finalists and then actually chosen for a highly coveted speaking slot.

It is especially exciting because I get to share a stage with many excellent scientists and entertainers. The whole schedule can be seen here.

It is always a pleasure when the science can get out of the lab and into the public. This will be among the best venues yet!

New Gatorade 3 Part Sports Drinks

2010-06-18T23:25:00.000-04:00

The idea is that you need specific qualities of nutrients to maximize efforts during physical exertion. Gatorade has produced the new "G" series of sports drinks. Now you can buy three instead of just one!

The three phases of G effects are "Prime, Perform and Recover"

I've had my own recipe for athletic success and it looks like this:

So Sacred, Try it Four Times

2010-06-08T07:04:00.001-04:00

Critics claim that allowing homosexuals to marry degrades the "sacred institution of marriage". Radio talk-show host Rush Limbaugh enjoys extensive listenership from these critics.

This is interesting. This week Rush wed, making his fourth foray into this sacred institution.

It is so sacred that perhaps the fourth time in the charm. The formula for hypocrisy, one man + one woman x four times = completely acceptable.

In order to be taken seriously the people claiming sanctity of marriage must step up and put their mouths where their mouths are. Be critical of those that crap on your sacred institution before you deny participation in that institution to people that wish to engage it.

Turning Point?

2010-05-21T05:46:00.000-04:00

“The ocean will take care of this on its own if (the BP oil disaster) was left alone and left out there. It’s natural. It’s as natural as the ocean water is.” - A popular radio personality recognized by 50% of the nation for his scientific expertise, especially on environmental wacko issues.

Airborne - Sold as Cough Medicine

2010-05-19T23:02:00.001-04:00

Tonight I was in my local Walgreens and saw something truly disturbing. Look carefully at the picture.

Airborne, being marketed as a cough medicine, despite the fact that it has no active ingredients. Smooth move, Wallgreens.

Yes, there it is, good old Airborne. A combination of quackery that has no established health benefits except for the claims the company was sued for. And here it is, clearly being sold under cough medicine.

And to think of all the unsuspecting people that don't read boxes or know enough about evidence-based medicine that will buy this to help their legitimate medical problem. Shame on you, Walgreens. You have compromised your integrity as an establishment that sells pharmaceuticals when you sell out to crap science.

The most hilarious part is that the product next to it is "Wal-born", the generic equivalent of, well, no medicine. It makes me so mad to see that innocent people, in search of medical care, are being duped by Airborne and Walgreens.

Walgreen's Genetic Test Postponed!

2010-05-14T13:08:00.001-04:00

Last week I heard about the cheap genetic test that was going to be offered from Walgreen's drug stores. The test would examine your genetic probabilities for developing long-term disease. It was supposed to come out today.

I was going to be first in line to buy the test. If you know what your genetic predisposition are, you can monitor, prevent, or even cure a problem before it starts. This is a brilliant addition to a personal arsenal of preventative medicine.

Today the FDA has pulled the item from store shelves because they say that it there are concerns about "public misinterpretation of medical information". I guess I can still get the kit from www.pathway.com, but I liked the idea of a cheap version in a local drugstore.

What makes me really mad is that the FDA will stop a product from being sold at Walgreens that is used to inform, guide and shape lifestyle choices and preventative medical care. At the same time Walgreens can sell Airborne, kinoki foot pads, and hundreds of other quack supplements that actually make medical claims to affect disease or disorder progression- that do absolutely nothing. These compounds do not need FDA approval because they are supplements, yet they are sold as drugs, adjacent to drugs and are purchased as drugs to solve the problems drugs solve.

Somehow that is okay.

The FDA also needs to shut down the thousands of faith healers, channelers, psychic surgeons and others that claim medical effects that could be "misinterpreted".

The FDA needs to shut down homeopaths and accupuncturists and all others that make claims of medical care that could be misinterpreted as a potential cure.

Pathway Genomics is using a legitimate technology to help us make personal health decisions. It is not mandatory. It is an opportunity for us to learn about our how bodies are made up and help us to hone predictions of likely health problems. This is the best gift for someone you love or even yourself.

Here the FDA is stopping our acquisition of legitimate scientific information while they look the other way on bogus cures and scientific disinformation. Shame on you, FDA.

Graduation, 2010

2010-05-02T20:33:00.001-04:00

Every year the deans and department chairs ask for volunteers to assist in marshaling the graduation ceremony. It is a lousy job in general. You have to wear a hot, stinky, ugly robe and sit idle while 700 students have their names called. The presiding speeches bore you to tears and the class representatives are usually not too inspiring in their addresses. That's why it is really tough to get volunteers.

So why do it? It is the smile and handshake from the seven to ten students that I see from class. I usually don't remember them by name (the lecture hall seats 400), but I know the faces and certainly react to the smiles.

It is a really nice job. It is our product leaving the assembly line with a value certain to increase once it is off the showroom floor.

It is the students that make it worthwhile. Congrats to all of you in the class of 2010.

New Funding for Plant Science!

2010-04-21T17:32:00.000-04:00

The Flyer Was Posted; The Stoners Showed Up

2010-04-19T11:34:00.002-04:00

Disappointed by Wussiness in Leadership

2010-04-18T07:44:00.005-04:00

Over the past six months I have found myself wrapped in a controversial issue relative to the organization I work for. I am not the controversy, instead, I represent one viewpoint and have communicated this point clearly. It represents many. I have been a point person in formal discussions and represent many with a common argument. Details of the issue are not necessary to illuminate my point.

On separate occasions I have met with higher-ups in my organization and people in positions of decision-making power. We have discussed the issue.

In both cases leaders have closed the door, sat close to me, looked me dead in the eyes and said, "Whatever you say about this will not leave this room, you have my word on it... so what is the real story with (insert topic here)?"

My response both times was, "Tell anyone you want to tell- this is what I think and I'm standing by it."

Metaphorically, if I'm throwing someone under the bus or poking a hornets' nest, then I sign my name on it. Period. It is what I think, what I feel, what I know. If I'm not willing to stand by it, why should I expect anyone else to share the position?

Is this closed-door, secret innuendo policy the way to make progress, or propagate bad feelings and rumors?

Plus, if I don't scream my idiot viewpoint from the highest mountain, how will I ever know if I'm wrong?

Wouldn't it be nice if everyone was a straight shooter and stood by their positions and words?

What is worse is that this behavior suggests that people in a position to guide a critical process are keeping secrets and not being forthright. Now that I've seen the man behind the curtain, it has deflated my perception of leaders and the process.

James Randi - Out of Closet

2010-04-10T16:07:00.001-04:00

Ricky Martin and James Randi come out of the closet in the same week. One was a surprise!

Then I see this billboard and it all makes sense. Note abundant use of the term homo.

I hope that is more funny than offensive. It was a funny coincidence (or is it?) that happened this week and I had to share. Best wishes to James Randi, one of my heroes!

Essay on Skepchick

2010-04-08T07:45:00.000-04:00

Last week Elyse Anders at Skepchick (a well-known website that promotes skepticism and critical thinking from a female point of view) made a call for guest essays. I submitted one based on my experience with a student that was influenced by the women in the science workplace... Science Needs Women.

The Sign Says "No Homo Mayor"

2010-04-03T23:28:00.003-04:00

I had no idea we were even electing a new mayor. Now I'm ready to vote. Not for anyone. I'm voting against these a-holes.

Now that they are making political endorsements I hope that they can start paying taxes. I gar-un-tee that this dork is bringing in the funding and then hiding behind church to keep it all.

Apples Falling Near Trees

2010-04-02T07:00:00.001-04:00

On Wednesday this week I was invited to speak at Florida State College at Jacksonville. It's Nature Awareness Week and they invited in a series of scientists and speakers to discuss various aspects of nature. I spent the time discussing critical thinking about "controversial" topics- GMO food and Climate Change.

I was invited by Dr. Stefanie Maruhnich. Stef earned her Ph.D. in my lab in 2007. I was originally disappointed that she didn't go into academic research because she was really good at it. She chose teaching instead for many good reasons. After seeing her at work, meeting her colleagues, and discussing with her students, it is so clear that she has made an excellent choice. I'm really proud of her.

I'm even a bit envious. She gets to work with undergraduate students, one on one, giving them each amazing attention. She contributes to an amazing team effort of undergraduate education that is unique from what we offer at a large university. It provides excellent opportunities that maybe are lost in our massive lecture halls.

Stef could only meet for a short time afterward because she had grading to do. She gives essay-based tests that take forever to grade, but she does it because it is the right way to evaluate their work. She did take the time to introduce me to some of her students- all bright, interested and reflecting her enthusiasm. They are so lucky to have her as a teacher and mentor.

Some say that as scientists our success is best measured by where those you have mentored go and what they do.

I drove home from Jacksonville feeling very successful.

Pale Blue Dot Revisited

2010-03-25T11:23:00.001-04:00

I was talking to a friend this morning. She speaks to the vastness of space and our insignificant position relative to the universe and everything. I thought of the Sagan's "pale blue dot".

The tiny blue dot in the center of the bright band on the right is Earth. You ain't so cool.

The picture was taken from the Voyager spacecraft as it left our solar system in 1990. Scientists turned the camera back toward the sun and captured an image. The image shows our planet, our home, the place where everyone that every human that has ever lived, modestly presented as a dim tiny fleck- a pale blue dot. This single pixel shows our position we were all there in that photo, all of us captured on that single spot of light.

It is humbling and maybe tragic, as it shows how minor we are in the true grand scale.

You Mean PH-inally Begun...

2010-03-20T05:11:00.001-04:00

I get really mad at a bumper sticker I see frequently around town. No, not "No Fat Chicks". That one is hilarious.

I get really mad at the bumper sticker issued by my university upon completion of the Ph.D. degree. The sticker is distributed as an addendum to the highest degree granted by the university, it proclaims "PH-inally Done".

My gripe is that the Ph.D., while technically described as a terminal degree, is simply a beginning. In stark contrast to the proclamation of the sticker, this is not an end, but rather just another beginning. After completing the most rigorous degree bestowed by a university the incumbent is an expert, but an expert at the beginning. At this point tradition tells us that one with a Ph.D. is now equipped to teach, guide research, and train other scholars. This is when the real learning begins.

I have proudly put the hood on four Ph.D. students, guiding their progress to their the pinnacle of the training that I can give them as my Ph.D. student. Again, just the beginning. They were not "Phinally Done". They were finally ready to start.

From there they took on new challenges as leaders in industry or postdoctoral training. Years later they will visit other laboratories to train more. It is the beginning of a lifelong pursuit of Truth, and teaching evidence-based knowledge.

Take off the sticker. You are not Phinally Done. You have seriously just begun, that is, if you decide to keep dancing.

Lowe's-ing My Patience

2010-03-18T05:02:00.003-04:00

I was in Lowe's and needed a solution. Its was not rocket science, but I needed a fix that demanded a clever outside-the-box remedy. I wandered the aisles looking for inspiration.

Inspiration I did not find, but I did find a guy in a snappy red Lowe's vest. I asked politely, "Can I ask you a quick question?"

Then he says, "I'm not on the clock yet, so I can't help you."

WTF? Did he check his peabrain into an employee locker and it don't start until he jacks up on Red Bull and puts on his Axe Body Spray?

I stood befuddled. I could not believe what I had heard, and was so stymied that I could not whip off my usual pointy retort.

My feelings are that if you are not at work, take off the Lowe's vest. It isn't high fashion and lord knows it ain't gonna score you more woozle. If you look like you are at work, inside the place where you work, new math reveals that you might find a moment to field my question, maybe even if you are technically not punched in.

Whatever. I'm resigning myself to the idea that the crusty old retiree in Ace Hardware is an unsustainable model and that the seasoned experts have been replaced by turd clones with nothing else to do except punch that clock, point and grunt.

I found what I needed, eventually. As the vein in my head stopped pulsing I had a daydream, a daydream of him wiping out on his crotch rocket and his Lowe's name tag penetrating his lung so that he needed immediate attention. Luckily for him a paramedic saw the whole thing and rushes to assist. The paramedic parts the guy's red Lowe's vest to begin CPR, then looks at his watch... "I'm not on the clock yet, so I can't help you...."

What a crappy world it would be.

Jim Sikes Investigated- His "Finger in the Chili"

2010-03-17T06:08:00.000-04:00

The lovely Roxanne put it best, "This is his finger in the chili" moment, an attempt to pile onto a lawsuit by faking a problem with his Prius. Toyota made the best first move- aggressively investigating with a neutral third party, the NTSB. Nobody finds any evidence that supports his claim. Now that it has been shown that such action is not even plausible in a Prius, you will not see another report of an out-of-control Toyota Prius.

Prius Guy's Story - You Heard it Here First!

2010-03-15T09:26:00.002-04:00

I smelled a rat on this one from the beginning, a big stinky Prius-driving one. If there's one thing that I know it is people, mostly of how people behave in a crisis. I guess I'm a connoisseur of human nature.

As indicated in my March 11 post, the Jim Sikes incident (where he claimed acceleration that could not be stopped despite laying on the brakes, leaving him to drive on the highway at speeds up to 100 mph) is probably not true. The theater was not a school zone, not a side street, but a high speed road. He didn't just put the car in neutral and shut it off, instead he called 911 and drove it until a cop showed up to witness the incident.

It stunk from square one. If you are driving a truly runaway vehicle you do everything you can to stop it. Only a controlled driver can make a cell phone call, and it can't happen in an outright panic where the driver has no control of the vehicle. It was clear to me that he knew what was happening.

Today investigation of his brake pads shows that he did not apply excessive force to a high speed vehicle for sustained time. The evidence does not lie.

He has lawyers, so he will sue. I wish that Toyota could put their best scientists and attorneys on this. If this is a fraud I want this guy in prison, locked up for a very long time. This is possibly a bogus 911 call, smearing a company and extortion to get a buck.

If it is a scam- throw the book at him.

Science Speaks- Courts Listen; No Vaccine-Autism Link

2010-03-13T06:29:00.004-05:00

It is a travesty that courts have to deal with pseudoscience. Parents of autistic children are suing for compensation from vaccine manufacturers. It is like Holocaust survivors suing Eskimos. They are picking a fight that has zero credible scientific basis, just an emotionally charged children's issue linked to effective mouthpieces that claim a link between vaccines and autism; a link that is not supported by science.

Today's case comes from the family of William Mead, a child stricken with autism. Without a known cause, the parents grabbed onto the pseudo-scientific coattails of Jenny McCarthy Inc and the rest of the anti-scientists that are convinced that a normal medical treatment causes the disorder, despite no directly causal evidence to support that position. This time the Mead family was denied compensation because a panel of three judges correctly determined that there is no scientific basis for their claim.

My heart goes out to these children and their families as they must grapple with the consequences of a mysterious disorder that science does not understand. As stated before, I know many families with autistic children and it is a challenge beyond words.

But that same heart also goes out to scientists driven to solve the problem. Everyday hundreds of laboratories filled with the field's best minds fight to help these children and save future generations from the affliction. Alison Singer, president of the Autism Science Foundation said, "There is not a bottomless pit of money with which to fund autism science. We have to use our scarce resources wisely."

My feelings exactly. As soon as these know-it-all parents that are really know-nothings can let science do its job, the sooner we'll have a cause, if not a cure for autism. Right now vaccine-based science and scientists are so busy playing defense that pursuit of a real cure and determining the real cause are seriously hindered. Worse, the anti-vaccination groups view science and scientists as the problem, not as a solution. To them, we are all part of a grand conspiracy that has successfully suppressed the truth. I'm still waiting for my check from "Big pHARMa".

Anti-vaccination groups like Coalition for Vaccine Safety, Autism Speaks, Age of Autism and Generation Rescue have spoken out. You see, they are not scientists, they are fear mongers and alarmists. They don't like the Mead decision. Age of Autism sees this as a miscarriage of justice. In my estimation is a perfect carriage of justice- a decision based on evidence rather than a non-scientific and emotional opinion.

The 2.5 billion dollar fund that was established to compensate victims of credible vaccine damage is a dream lottery pot for those that want someone to blame and a deep pocket to pay for it. I'm glad that the science has spoken. It would be my dream if these funds could go to fuel autism science. Maybe we could find the real causes, define new therapies or perhaps cures, and stop vilifying science and scientists.

Toyota Drivers' Big Lottery Ticket

2010-03-11T07:06:00.001-05:00

Now that there have been a literal handful of confirmations that Toyota cars exhibit an exceedingly rare uncontrolled acceleration problem, prepare for a whole lot more of it. Why? Because Toyota owners must experience the problem if they want a piece of that class action lawsuit pie!

A great case is where Prius owner Jim Sikes drove a car with a stuck accelerator for 20 minutes. The guy couldn't just say that he had a problem in a model that has experience few, if any, aberrant behaviors. How could he prove it happened? Call 911! If you call and record your accelerator as stuck, you pretty much have punched that lotto ticket! Genius!

Of course, calling 911 while your car is careening out of control down a busy highway requires much more thoughtful attention then say, taking your car out of gear and shutting off the engine. That is what a normal person would do.

But this is a mysterious problem, and it does not happen in the Prius per se, so in order to get your chunk of the windfall you can't just safely shut off the car. You need drama, cops, danger. A fabrication is so simple. Going down an open highway at 60, 70, 80 mph is a pretty common feat.

You heard it here first, in my opinion this is a scam, clear as crystal. His actions are not those of someone in such an accelerator situation. You do everything in your power to stop the car, from brakes, emergency brakes, to slamming it into neutral, shutting off the ignition and to driving it into a bush. This is the sequence we were taught as teenagers, a sequence that should be ingrained before ever taking the wheel.

The guy with the alleged Prius problem best not get a penny. In fact, he should have his license revoked for not knowing how to properly operate a vehicle (buy shutting it off). If it turns out that he's exposed as a fraud, can we pleeeeeeeeeeeeease give him the death penalty? I'm against capital punishment, but I think we need just a few to keep these a-holes honest and maybe act as a deterrent.

Let's face it, there are probably 100 people that legitimately have been harmed or killed because of a strange electronic problem. These folks need compensation. The Toyota company needs careful examination and focused attention to the problem to fix it. Those that pile onto the tragedy of others with bogus claims should receive their own special punishment, as they misdirect the investigation, raise our insurance costs and potentially place us all in peril.

Home Skool Byology

2010-03-10T07:46:00.003-05:00

Here in north-central Florida a lot of parents choose to homeschool their children. There are a variety of reasons for homeschooling, ranging from children with special needs that are not met in conventional classrooms to schools that just plain suck. One of the other central reasons is that some parents do not want their youngin's exposed to concepts inconsistent with their political and/or religious beliefs.

One popular set of books comes from Apologia press. The books offered for biology look nice and have beautiful illustrations. The science stated is not too shabby for what is there, but they make one clear omission and include one clear addition. The omission- evolution. You will not see the word in the text.

There is a clear statement of theology as plants and animals are shown to be created in literal Biblical fashion. A statement of the book reads:

Most importantly, of course, a creationist world view is stressed throughout. Time and time again, God is glorified as the Master Creator of all that the students are studying. In addition, sections entitled "Creation Confirmation" provide evidence for young-earth creationism in the context of the topic that the students are studying.

Unfortunately their "creation confirmation" sections were not offered to the reader in sample materials, so it is difficult to analyze those data. Seeing as though such data do not reach peer-reviewed literature, it is unlikely that their confirmations are compelling.

This is just one of the volumes that violates the basic foundation of science.

The major problem is that children are not learning the very basis of science, that is, the scientific method. There is no hypothesis to test; the basic message is "because we told you so". This violates the basic rules of scientific inquiry.

Parents should be free to teach their children in a manner they see appropriate. Last I checked this is still the USA and parents have some latitude. But would it be ethical to teach children that 3+3=5, that the holocaust never happened, to conduct class in Klingon, or that study of intramolecular forces is not necessary to understand chemistry because there is "divine atom glue"? Does it help their cause as a religious people to teach their kids something wrong?

There is zero evidence that the earth is 6000 years old, that all organisms were put here on one day and haven't changed since. The earth is not flat and in the center of the universe. To teach children this information cripples their competitiveness and limits long-term aspirations. In a time when they'll need science and technology most, theirs will be built on the shakiest of foundations.

Science Against Anti-Science

2010-03-07T07:04:00.001-05:00

We can think of dozens of examples where believers in concepts contrary to scientific consensus trumpet their nonsense. Whether it is the notion that we never landed on the moon, that 9-11 was an inside job, that earth was created 10K years ago, or one of the dozens of other blobs of bullshit that people believe, there is intense polarization brewing around these issues.

The funny part is, as we become more scientifically astute as a people and planet, the more powerful these anti-scientific concepts become. It does not follow strict political lines. For every right-wing anti-science climate denier there is on one side there is an anti-GMO lefty with their head in a prominent sphincter.

These various anti-science groups have succeeded in creating a debate where there really is none. They manufactured a false dichotomy, a here's what the scientists say, and here's what I think situation. Somehow this gets traction, especially with like minds that don't like the conclusions science finds. Ultimately they attack the science.

The problem comes to the rules of scientific communication. Scientists must play by the conservative rules of scientific discourse. We have to rely on identification of quality data, reproducibility, and independent verification. We have to have results that may be interpreted within the realm of the current state of science. We have to always do out best to show that our hypothesis is not supported.

This approach makes no sense to the scientifically illiterate, especially those with an agenda. They don't need data, they don't need experiments, they can just make shit up. Yup. They can just say whatever they feel necessary, no matter how scientifically incompatible it is. When you read the anti-science literature it is clear that climate deniers, evolution deniers, the anti-vaccination crowd, etc, all believe that scientists are on the take from big pharma, big meteorology or big atheism. There is this impression that grant money is given out like pez to those those that agree with some dogmatic interpretation.

Such a scenario could not be farther from the truth. First, grant money is almost impossible to get. Current rates are around 10% success, so if you are as good as everyone else (which is saying a lot) you have a 90% chance of failure. Furthermore, nobody gets funded to verify and repeat the same experiments. Those with new methods, edgy ideas and most of all contrarian ideas get the funds.

You are more likely to get money if you have compelling data showing that climate change is natural, vaccination causes autism or AIDS has nothing to do with HIV. Such data would turn science on its head and make it grow in a new way. Of course, these ideas don't surface for funding because good reproducible data do not support these hypotheses.

But we have to be open to this. If someone gives compelling data that the earth is 10,000 years old, it should be examined. It would have to be some remarkable dataset to turn over all of the millions of data points that suggest otherwise, but science needs to consider these data. The difference is, if they are data derived from real, reproducible experiments, then they demand our attention. If they are what Goober thinks, or what Jenny McCarthy's instincts tell her, they are not science.

Carl Sagan once said that it is ironic that we live in a time so dependent on science and technology, yet know so little about science and technology. While his statement is sad on the surface, it he'd be really disappointed in 2010 when so many are actively fighting science and technology when it is inconvenient for them to accept real science findings.