"Friend" Request Never Answered

Back in 1980 I was harassed by the police for standing up for my friend Henry Pascual.  Henry was my friend and had a heart of gold.  He lived two sides to the same tortured life.  In school he was funny, happy and involved.  He was the Treasurer of our 8th grade student council and a popular kid at school. On the other hand his biological father remarried to a horrible new wife that hurt him and minimized him in the new family structure. It was no secret.  Everyone at school knew of the physical and mental abuse he endured.  Heck, it was the 70's, and you could still abort your kids well into their teens without repercussions.

Turns out out that some kids vandalized his father's home, and when police asked questions I told them that his family/step mother deserved it. I told the police that they were horrible people that hurt their son. While other kids shut up and some even ran, I stepped up and told the cops that I was glad that someone stood up to those awful people. I didn't do the vandalism (I have no idea who did) but I was glad someone did. I did nothing, but I was treated like a criminal by the Downers Grove police detective.

That's Sean Rowbottom, Michael Taylor, me (back row), 

Henry Pascual, Christa Ojeda and some other goofball (front row),

 outside of O'Neill Jr. High in 1979.

The police took me home to my mom and dad, questioned me and broke me down. They wanted me to admit to something I didn't do because I had motive. Henry's dad and stepmom put him through hell. They kicked him out of the house and sent him into foster care. I stood up for him and those that acted on his behalf, even if illegal. It was the right thing to do.  With what I know today I feel sad that they didn't wipe the place and its inhabitants from the face of the earth.  Even though I didn't do the vandalism, I'd like to high-five those that did.  At least I had the gumption to say that, even back then.

Henry was placed into foster care.  I used to ride my bike with Michael Taylor 15 miles to visit him with a foster family in Villa Park IL.  He lived with nice people, sweet people, but it didn't seem right..  They saw Henry through high school, and as time went on in a period before email and quick contact, we spoke to Henry less and less.

With the phenomenon of Facebook we could build old connections. I found him in Spain, where he appeared to be doing well.  Here is the note I sent to him earlier this year...

Dear Henry, 


Now I realize the value of Facebook- connect me with Henry Pascual and all is well. You popped up on my screen as a recommended contact. Nice.

I hope everything is going well for you Henry. I think the last time I saw you was when Taylor and I rode up to see you somewhere in Villa Park IL. You were always incredible, especially with the circumstances you had to endure.

I know you are doing wonderful things and if you get around to it drop me a line and let me know what you are up to.

Sincerely,

Kevin Folta


Sadly, he never wrote back.  My "friend" request went unanswered on Facebook, and it always bothered me.  Was he hiding from the past?

He never wrote back because he killed himself earlier this year.  Yes I blame his father and stepmother.  They were horrible people.

Dear Henry, I wish I would have reached out sooner.  I probably couldn't have changed your mind, but it would have been nice to say goodbye to a dear friend.  You waged such a battle against those bastards and you won.

I'll do my best to fill the void you have left.  I never knew you as an adult, but I'm sure you brought wonder and compassion to all those in your life, especially those of us that knew you early.  Thanks Henry, thanks for everything.