Me, if I can't make it at home I want it from a gas station. Gas stations make the best coffee. Its the stuff that keeps truckers wired, the homeless awake and scientists honing their craft.
Last week I went to Starbucks. Roxanne likes Starbucks, but probably because she's not a coffee drinker. We went in and I ordered a coffee. The guy behind the counter wasn't sure how to deal with an order of plain black coffee. He then asks me if I want a "TALL".
I cheerfully nod, anticipating my TALL coffee.
See, where I come from "tall" means, well, tall. It means one that is bigger, possibly higher than the others. You can't have a "tall" unless you have a "short". "Tall" means that there is something on the scale that is smaller. But I am just a rube off the turnip truck, unfamiliar with the ways of high-end coffee getting.
The Starbuck's "Tall" cowers in the shadow of the
48 oz tumbler of goodness from Stinkie Lyle's
Shit N Git. Starbuck's tall, $3. Stinkie Lyle's, $1.06 with tax!
The guy behind the counter puts a Barbie-sized cup of coffee on the counter with my name on it. I turn to Roxanne and tell her that there must be some kind of mistake, as I clearly ordered a "tall" coffee and the thing I received as actually quite short, so short it might keep my heart beating for about ten minutes, enough to get over to Stinkie Lyle's for a good cup of mud.
Turns out that the tall is a short and there is no small, but there is some other things that one could order, and they are not extra tall and extra-super-tall.
I'm saving my coffee dollar for Stinkie Lyle. It tastes better, I get more, it is cheaper, and Stinkie Lyle inches a bit closer to his Nascar tickets with each purchase. Forget Starbucks and their tall that isn't.
1 comments:
kev, reminds me of my dad... "can i please just have a cup of regular coffee... no flavors.or perfume.. no hazelnut, cherry or oatmeal flavor..and I want it in mug you can hold on to,..not a paper cup with a some toilet paper holder around it."
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