Scientists Sequence Maraschino Cherry

PINEDALE, WY-- A group of scientists have collaborated to present the sequence of the Maraschino Cherry.  Recent genome sequencing efforts in other rosaceous crops like apple, peach and strawberry provide a valuable context for this discovery.  The work was led by Dr. Robert Cummings of the University of Western Wyoming.

"We wanted to learn the fundamental makeup of this curious fruitstuff", said Cummings.  "It is a tremendously valuable crop, worth more on a per-pound basis than most other common fruit crops. People don't even realize it is a fruit, and to be honest we were starting to wonder too- the best way to learn about its unique properties is to perform whole-genome sequencing."

Straddling the line between chemistry and biology,

 scientists have sequenced the genome of the

Maraschino cherry. The effort was sponsored by 

the Fruit Cocktail Marketing Board.

The challenge for the sequencing team was not the sequencing itself, but simply extracting DNA.  Numerous attempts were made to isolate the genetic material without success.

"Turns out just grinding it in its own juice was a caustic enough process to liberate nucleic acids," said Dr. Jane Belinda Wolf,  postdoctoral researcher in the project. "The damn things basically thumbed their chemical noses at any lab reagents we'd use."

Results of the study indicate that the Maraschino cherry has the smallest genome of any organism thus far sequenced.

"In a nutshell, I can tell you that the DNA we could find tells us we are working with a special organism.  The entire genome as we know it- it is T, yes, T--  only T," said Cummings.  "A genome of a single base, as evidenced by the sequencing of all materials successfully recovered."

The single-base genome not only represents a new paradigm for genome structure, but also invokes new rules for gene regulation.  The challenge to Cummings is to now figure out how such complexity can come from a single molecule.

"At first I was stumped, as it is only one base, but maybe it is a complicated base with much deeper information than we can understand from within the trappings of our mortal coils," remarked Cummings.

The Institute for Creation Research (ICR) acknowledges these findings and calls them proof of Intelligent Design.

"In some interpretations of Genesis it was not an apple that Eve picked, but rather a Maraschino cherry from a Maraschino cherry tree.  It remains a perfect reminder of creation to this day 6,000 years later, and Dr. Cumming's work simply reinforces that," said an unnamed spokesperson for ICR.

Cummings added, "This organism straddles the boundary between chemistry and biology, so we'd expect surprises.  But when you think about it, it is most at home with booze, Cool Whip and amixed (sic) with synthetic confections, so it sorta kinda does make complete sense."